…, ninjas are a major problem so bring plenty of ninja spray.
Have you stopped beating your…
. . . rug lately; it needs more cleaning.
Repetition is the mother of ______________
… repetition.
All the world’s a stage, and …
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none of us are being paid nearly enough for our costarring roles.
Shakespeare really knew what he was talking about when _______________________
he wrote “to be or not to be,” they seem to be the available options.
In Romeo and Juliet those kids are just idiots because…
. . . their parents might have come around to their view like most parents do when their kids show commitment.
True love is always ________________
elusive when you meticulously point out every single flaw of the women you’re dating.
My last girlfriend thought I was perfect; _______________
. . . she left me for someone less intimidating.
In my next girlfriend, I’m looking for _____________
someone with both a pulse and low standards.
If I were any more picky, you’d better believe ________________
. . . I’d expect some hair too.
I look for all my girlfriends at the _____________
… local whore house.
After work, I plan …
… to run a few errands, before heading home.
Among the things I’ll get, are …
…Herpes, syphilis, and maybe some pizza.
During the last herpes outbreak…
…we found out how many people think “herpe” is the singular form.
When in trouble, when in in doubt,_____
please do not contact me.
I got in trouble when I …
…barged into the town council meeting and performed lewd acts.
Cameras can detect…
…things going on when we are too bored to be paying attention-- which is when the good stuff suddenly happens.
Call me. . .
when you have no problems and no doubts.
I mistyped a text yesterday it ended up saying…
… “I’m just heading out to take my god for a walk.”
While on our walk, my dog …
Saw a god being walked and barked.
Nobody is above the law, not even_____.