… bugs. He barks at the mailman, though.
I don’t care. . .
…if it rains or freezes.
As long as I got my…
Popsicles.
I am only alarmed________.
when I realize I’m sober and I’m committing lewd acts.
So, being drunk…
…is in my immediate future again.
“12 beers please” I said…
…though I didn’t say who they pleased.
Nor did I specify ______.
… the brand of beer.
I would hate if they gave me …
Ginger beer.
I always wanted red hair, but______.
… the girl with it wouldn’t date me.
So, instead, my date to the high school dance had …
… a surprisingly strong left hook.
I still think of her when I …
a peg leg and an eye patch.
After I had my fifth mug of grog…
Oops, sorry. Missed it. Just ignore my schmuckery.
…play Mike tyson’s punch out.
Much schmuckery happens…
When the neighborhood ladies start punching and gouging.
The kids seem to______.
Murder each other for pogs.
Are pogs…
those little annoying sea birds from the last Star Wars movie?
I’m sure they weren’t stoats, but ________________
have you ever been to Orson Bean’s Stoat World?
It’s a family-friendly…
…tourist trap in Blawnox, Pennsylvania with several lawsuits pending against it.
The worst one involves…
… something that is illegal in 32 states, and six foreign countries.
But the pending lawsuits are likely to …
be thrown out of court.
Once I was held in contempt of court because…