us drinks and asked where I’d been all his life.
I told him…
I was a drifter, I didn’t like putting down roots.
So I asked him…
…his name and in a raspy voice he said “yoda”
Y-O-D-A, Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
When asked about slime creatures…
I get out the salt.(hate them slugs).
I made microwave popcorn then______.
Rolled up that broccoli. ������
The only time i will eat broccoli is when it comes with a big, fat_____.
Waitress to serve it to me.
I am terminally______.
… challenged.
Because every time I go to the bus terminal …
I find my ship has sailed.
I want to go to_______.
…the You Like Needles, Do Ya? tattoo parlor.
I just gotta get the name of my girlfriend covered with…
…something less obscene.
My mom never liked me dating…
…her twin sister, and I suspect she’s fooled me a couple of times.
As the hotdog rolled slowly down the steps…
…I knew my life had changed forever; but then I noticed the mustard stain on my tie.
The riverboat captain and the priest wondered if…
… they’d ever walk into a bar together, and be the subject of a joke.
The captain thought so, but the priest …
Went out and bought a kangaroo.
I am jumpy because_______.
…of The 'Nam, man!
During my last tour in country…
… I spent a little too much time at the souvenir stand, and the tour bus left without me.
So, in order to get to my destination, I had to …
…rob a clown in 80s clothing.
He tried to call the cops but, I…
…knocked his phone out of his hand with a move I learned from watching Jackie Chan movies.
That darned cat. . .
was kind of a lame movie - even as Disney goes.
When I’m in the mood for…
…quality entertainment, I read a book.
The best kind of story is…