… I got a lecture from my lawyer.
It’s pouring rain outside, and …
I am going out there to play.
After I got all wet I____________.
…contracted pneumonia, was hospitalized for 2 months, and forced into bankruptcy.
My childlike wonder has…
cost me many jobs and promotions.
When I’m near bubble wrap…
I feel compelled to pop every last damn one.
I was talking to Cecil Adams just the other day, and he told me, _______________
…to mind my own business, leave him alone, and for god’s sake but on some god damn pants before he calls the cops.
My pants were…
…where they should be, which is more than I can say for yours!
The heat wave here is breaking, and ____
… so is the wind.
I should find a sharp stick so I can _____________________
…stick it in my pee-hole.
I should seek counseling for __________
…my numerous arrests for lewd acts.
The last time this happened…
… it didn’t turn out well.
I had to put on a sweater because …
…I needed to hide the bloodstain on my shirt from the murdered hobo.
The downward spiral began when…
I attributed naughty words to Cecil Adams in this thread.
I never curse, myself; instead, I ______________
^^^^called my attorney, I am charged with lewd acts, again.
When I get off the phone_________.
Internalize and suppress.
The worst actor in the history of the world HAS to be…
ETA: Simulpost with Beck
I curse the name of who called me, break down in tears, turn the music back up, and open a beer.
Charlemagne, because how often to I get to say charlemagne?
The last time Charlemagne was brought up…
… I was asleep in history class, and failed the test.
Now, I was awake for Henry VIII, and …
^^^^^^the big divorce.
On my way to the chopping block________.
… my trusty steed and henchmen appeared, defeated the king’s guardsmen, and we made our escape.
One day, at archery practice, Little John said, …
Where’s Robin Hood and Friar Tuck?
Back in Sherwood forest…