… never having to say you’re sorry.
The problem with those old 1970s movie lines is …
…that Charlton Heston is now a maniac.
You fools! You…
should know better than to cross the damn beams.
Sigourney Weaver in *Ghostbusters *was simply _____________________
… a silver fox goddess.
You know who else trips my trigger? _____________________
Bullet, Roy Rogers’s dog. He was constantly getting under Trigger’s hooves, causing him to trip.
When Elvis sang “You Ain’t Nothin’ But A Hound Dog”, he was talking to…
A. Hound Dog, Esq., a noted Memphis trial attorney and bon vivant.
Anybody who calls me a bon vivant obviously __________________
failed French.
Aujourd’hui, maman. . .
said a creepy stranger behind me, I glared at him before pulling my Executive rain coat around me and facing into the wind, I don’t care about his mother, or did he mean, ‘Maman’, what the hell was he talking about, I ran down to the taxi stand and got into the first available one as I needed to get to…
…the toaster oven exorcists to pay my bill.
Can you believe he charged me…
… three easy payments of 59.95 plus shipping and handling?
But because I called in the ten-minute period …
… I got a second one if I just paid shipping.
My stomach. . .
Needs chocolate. ( truely)
I prefer to eat only_____.
… Hershey’s, but let’s face it, I’ll take what I can get.
I’d have some chocolate right now, but …
…I’m currently trapped under a heavy bookcase hemorrhaging blood into my lungs. Posting this from my phone with my one free hand.
Please…send…
…chocolate. I’ll even take the cheapest. But make it dark. If you can bring me Johnnie Walker, I wouldn’t turn that away. Also can you turn the page of this book.
You see, since the bookcase fell on me, I’ve been reading…
…Helter Skelter.
Squeaky Fromme. . .
… should have left well-enough alone, rather than trying to assassinate Gerald Ford.
What’s with these …
… fingernail clippers?
They cut my thumb nail just fine, but they can’t handle …
…heavy duty tree trimming, as I discovered to my great surprise and dismay this morning.
I plan, however, in the future to…
walk the Earth like Caine in Kung Fu, I plan to leave as soon as…