… I get a decent pair of walking shoes.
Of course, they will have to be …
… Skechers.
Who can turn the world on with. . .
a clap on clap off?
I’ll bet Mary Tyler Moore…
and I gave her a really nice hat for her birthday, but she lost it when…
Rhoda decided to borrow it on a windy day.
I don’t go out on___.
…the vernal equinox
Mainly because…
…I don’t know what it means.
I also don’t know the meaning of…
…Christmas.
Something about the birth of santa…
Had Mother Claus in a panic.
All the Reindeer did______.
laugh and call Rudolph names, just like the song said.
But the actual reason they did that - no shit! - was because _________
Those stinkin’ elves started a rumor.
The were punished by____.
… the Ghost of Christmas Present.
Right now, Charles Dickens is …
Sitting on a cloud thinking to himself “I coulda written about An Easter Carol, and made a bunch more bucks”
The characters would be______.
… Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Teddy the Wonder Lizard.
Nobody likes Teddy because …
He’s a slippery fellow.
Lounge Lizards are a______.
Thing of the past.
But bar barracudas
are in the future? Really?
At closing time______.
I hopped in my time machine, went back an hour, and ordered another three Saurian brandies.
My local pub doesn’t offer Saurian brandy, but you can get a pretty good ________
…herpes infection.
For happy hour…
There is always the back room.
I never go in the restroom in_____.