. . . that I put something in the thing.
And on the way out I ________.
Gave alms to the poor.
I felt so good I______.
went out and ate two dozen pancakes and three sides of bacon. After that, my tummy hurt so much…
… I barfed into a dumpster.
At which point, I promptly caught hell from …
the Dumpster Police, who were standing right there to write me a ticket. The fine was for $5 million, which, I have to say, seemed a bit…
…redonkodiculous but I didn’t tell them that I had that much cash on me. I asked the Dumpster Police, “Let me see your badges.”
One of them said…
“Sure thing, I have it riiiight… HERE!” and the he tazed…
The dumpster dwarf.
As that was politically inappropriate the cop was sent to training for_____.
Proper use of his taser. When tazing a dwarf, always be sure to…
make sure no one’s recording it on their cellphone.
The strangest thing I ever did with my cellphone was…
…take selfies with the smouldering dwarf corpse.
The smell…
…reminds me of better days. I always take…
Air freshener, deodorant and perfume.
I like smelling______.
people in the elevator.
That got creepy in a hurry so I…
turned to collecting clown pornography instead. After my mom expressed her strong disapproval, with some reluctance I began…
to read Stephen King’s IT. I felt both penny wise and
economically wise. Ben Franklin once said…
Early to bed…ah nevermind.
When I saw Irene I shouted ‘goodnight’ and…
… got the hell out of there.
Because, as we all know …
when a Broadway baby says “good night,” it’s early in the morning.
Cause Broadway babies don’t sleep tight…