, unless they’ve got a night light. Speaking of which, when I was last in Harare with the Latvian Kiwanis, I…
got into a fist fight after I mocked a couple of Shriners and their stupid little hats.
The Freemasons may be a world spanning shadow government bent of domination but, …
… it’s hard to take them seriously when they wear those little aprons.
If you want a serious organization that is bent on world domination, then I’d suggest …
The Brownies.
I don’t like those cookies because_____.
they told me they were “fun” cookies and I was dumb enough to believe them.
I gave a few to my dog…
… who declined them, because he found cow dung much more interesting.
But then, my dog …
is a big fan of Dug: Dug's Special Mission (2009) - YouTube
There are at least 20 dogs in my neighborhood, but none of them…
Are brown. Hmmm?
My dog has______.
attitude.
I’ll bet your cat…
is much cuter than a typical naked mole rat.
Which reminds me, when I saw my Uncle Pete the other day, he…
said how pretty I was.
As I turned and ran…
I tripped on the naked mole rat.
I lay on the floor____.
, wondering where the damn naked mole rat had come from, before Uncle Pete helped me up.
He chuckled and said, "…
Gotcha!
I broke free and______.
ran screaming all the way back to Blawnox.
When I got there, I learned…
the reason why Uncle Pete was never invited to Thanksgiving dinner.
Thanksgiving dinner is a pain in the ass because…
Someone has to kill the beast. Not fun.
When it’s my turn I_______.
… go to the supermarket when everybody else’s back is turned.
At the supermarket, I …
pay whatever it takes to buy eight gallons of pureed tuna, which I mold into…
… a replica of Michelangelo’s “David.”
I could mold it into a turkey shape, I suppose, but …