Trucks. That would be a little too close to water.
The problem is______.
…when they give CDL’s to ducks. Ducks that drive trucks tend to stop often to…
Take a dip.
The correct way to dip is____.
… to hold the rippled chip just so, and just place it in the French onion dip before pulling it back out.
You can use the same technique for …
Most chips. But not Pringles.
I recently found out they are made_____.
… of cardboard.
When it comes to real chips, I like …
Pringles, or that new brand, Big Butts.
I like Big Butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can’t deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, want to pull up tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she’s wearing
I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring
Oh baby, I want to get wit’cha
And take your picture.
Except my camera is…
currently in the F.B.I.'s evidence locker for reason my lawyer says I shouldn’t discuss.
I’m told that Mexico is nice as long as…
you stay away from the refried dreams.
I’m down here in Mexico sick as a dog
My head is poundin’ in this border town fog
Down to my last dime and comin’ apart at the seams
I’m messed up in Mexico
Livin’ on refried dreams.
The one thing I don’t want on my tacos is…
… my buddy’s butt.
Seriously, I just put my taco on the table for a moment, and …
someone had taken a big bite of it, but left behind a pina colada.
If you like pina coladas
And gettin’ caught in the rain
If you’re not into yoga
If you have half a brain
If you like making love at midnight
In the dunes on the cape
I’m the love that you’ve looked for
Write to me and…
… escape.
But on the night that we were to meet at O’Malley’s …
I found out;
I got friends in low places,
Where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away,
I’ll be okay…
Where I find______.
… Them pantyhose ain’t gonna last too long,
If the DJ puts Bon Jovi on.
She might come home in a tablecloth,
Yeah, tequila makes her clothes fall off.
Which might not be so bad, except …
My baby’s feelin funny in the mornin
Says she’s got a lot in her mind
Nature didn’t give her any warning,
Now she’s gonna have to leave her wild ways behind
She says she doesn’t care if she never spends
Another night running lose on the town
She’s gonna be a mother
Take a look in my eyes and tell me brother
If I look like I’m ready
People that are ready for Christmas before Thanksgiving…
Sing Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock.
I want to chunk a rock at them, but_______.
… it’s probably best if I don’t.
So, I’ll just …
…scream HUMBUG, M—ERF—ERS!
And hope the tidings lead them to…
A good party.
That should make your spirit______.
… pour freely at the bar.
Come holiday time, my preferred libation is …