Nog. Egg, that is.
Behold that bright and festal spring of mistletoe, which…
Brings on the smooches.
Kiss my____.
Shiny metal ass!
Cheese…
and crackers, asked the hostess?
Cheese and crackers makes me…
Wish for olives.
Don’t know why I ____.
think of olives at a time like this, when what I’m really thinking of, deep down, is my fourth wife, Olivia.
We eventually divorced because she…
… had this thing about pimentos.
But when it came to pickles …
…, she used them to perform black magic rituals.
Satan himself…
… was impressed.
So impressed, that he …
offered me a Hostess cupcake.
At that point, I realized my folly and…
cursed Little Debbie.
That night we spent together locked inside the Tastykake factory…
still makes me smile as I recall her sweet, sticky, high-calorie embrace.
Of course, that’s not the kind of story you can tell around the Thanksgiving table, because…
… Grandma, Great-Aunt Agnes, and Cousin Gladys would disapprove.
Great-Uncle Jerry wouldn’t care because …
he used to work for Tastykake, and he’s heard a lot worse over the years.
He’s my favorite uncle, really, but I have to admit,…
He ain’t a good Hostess.
The cream in the center is____.
…radioactive.
It gives it that…
Lovely glow-in-the-dark feel.
A few days later when your hair falls out you can always_____.
try a comb over.
The only person who ever looks good with a comb over is great Uncle Jerry because
it sets off the Tastykake fedora so nicely.
Other distinctive corporate headgear is the Xerox beret, the Mercedes kepi and…
The Revlon wig-hat.
My favorite color is______.