had quite a scare.
Little did I know that
Dead people are laying right under the snow.
While eating I_____.
… began to wonder just what I was eating.
It was supposed to be chicken, but …
I think they were just saying that to fool me.
KFC is my favorite because_____.
… the eleven different herbs and spices are the only thing that separate that stuff from ordinary fried chicken.
And even that’s …
only part of the attraction - the near-lethal salt and saturated fats make for a truly memorable taste treat.
In Botswana, Kentucky Fried Chicken…
Is some sort of bush-meat.
Travelling I often only eat_____.
Venezuelan beaver cheese on whole-wheat crackers.
My sister and niece both graduated from Wooster College, but _____
Bertie and Jeeves weren’t there.
My butler stopped the ______.
… bathtub from overflowing.
But when he served my afternoon sherry at the wrong temperature …
that’s when I knew I had to let him go.
Since firing all the hired help, I find the hardest task to master on my own is
Undressing. A valet is a wonderful thing.
I’m just gonna go naked til_______.
I need to fry the bacon for “PORKFEST” tonight.
When the pigs rise up against humanity…
…manchops and applesauce will be served on Thursdays.
Tuesdays will be…
Longpork and beans. Yummy.
Beans, beans the magical fruit_____.
… but when you’ve eaten them, they’re has-beans.
I always make sure that my pantry contains …
…a bassoon or two.
There’s nothing like going home and blowing on a …
Door knob. ( don’t ask)
When I jump the threshold ______.
… it’s always with my cat, who is trying to escape the house when I open the door.
I’ve learned to …
Leap tall buildings.
My super powers also came with_____.