… the stilettos, my feet would thank me.
As for the short-shorts …
Who wears short shorts?
When I ran out of ‘Nair’ I went to______.
… the beach anyway.
Once at the beach, I saw a gargantuan expanse of fishbelly white skin…
And no coppertone. Sunburn city!
When I got burned_______.
I called my boss and said I wouldn’t be in.
That’s not surprising because my boss
… doesn’t expect me on days ending in “Y.”
The boss does, however, expect me …
To have a tan.
I find that terribly_____.
Dbl post.
…reward because tanning is the only thing I’m skilled at.
I take that back. I am also good at filling…
… pie crusts.
I like baking, because it …
Feeds the roaring crowd.
When they are hungry they_____.
… grab torches and pitchforks, and threaten to storm my house.
But I can usually calm then down by …
Threatening lawsuits.
I want damages for_____.
… Half a million.
I have no grounds for such a sum, but …
…quitters never win. I’m going for it.
And i’ll sue for pain and suffering because…
I have a bruise on my ego.
In other news I’m going on_____.
… “Jeopardy.”
I just hope they don’t have a category about …
the Easter Bunny.
I get chills every time I think about…
…lists of the world’s most smartest-like people because I are one.
I also made the list for …
My dust bunny collection.
Oh, I see it’s late on the calendar for_____.