… “International Give a Cat a Treat Day.”
Problem is, my cats …
hate me.
I wouldn’t mind so much, but
There is the danger of cohabitation with evil.
When my cats look at me they_____.
… are sizing me up as potential food, should I die.
I don’t want to be eaten by my cats, so I …
renew my restraining order against them every six months.
Every six months I also take…
… a long vacation, usually outside the U.S.
On my last trip, …
The cats stowed-away in my luggage.
Cat hair covered_____.
fettuccine is great once you shake the cat hairs off.
Cats tend to be experts at…
Travelling incognito.
I looked, my passport is_____.
… American, but my cats’ are Siamese.
That’ll create a problem when …
We travelled to the Isle of Man. For obvious reasons.
Therefore I decided to_____.
… travel to New York, which none of us needed a passport for.
But when we saw Times Square …
Nobody could tell me the time.
I looked at sky to_____.
… find my way, but really, who can see the stars from Manhattan, given all the light?
That’s why, in broad daylight in NYC, I …
sleep until sundown.
The only drawback to that is I can’t…
…figure out East from West then, and often end up in the East River instead of in the matinee of “Cats”!
Otherwise, NYC is a veritable…
… contestant for World’s Most Interesting City.
It’s a far cry from …
… the mountains of Kyrat.
Which is where I spread the ashes of …
(Isamu, I had to Google to get it!)
…the last dozen cigars I smoked.
To make the trip I packed…
a suitcase and a humidor.
I needed help shipping the humidor, so I…