He ran away with the lady scarecrow.
Knowing full well her head was full of_____.
… straw.
But at least she had …
fibre in her character.
Which enabled her to …
… build civilizations.
Which she didn’t, because …
Why not?
Lady Leaders are always____.
down for a game of online poker.
Before online poker was invented, they…
… played online contract bridge.
That didn’t work so well because …
unfinished games could not be saved in those days.
They never could finish a game in one sitting, therefore…
…they invented Stand-Up Comedy, beginning with “Did you hear the one about the Farmer and the Lady Scarecrow?”
Some credit this sudden progression in human entertainment to…
excessive face to face human interaction.
Yet stand-up comedy is more relevant than ever in this digital age, thanks to…
The ability to steal material quickly.
Then you can_______.
…insult everyone in social media not using your real name or you own material.
Hmm, I fondly remember the day an anonymous poster called me…
a cereal plagiarist.
Little did this anonymous one know…
You were cuckoo for cocoa puffs.
All that puffery_____.
…went against the grain.
However, even Mikey said he liked…
Cocoa Butter.
Give 'em an inch and they’ll take a…
… furlong.
The great thing about archaic measurements is …
Horse racing, that’s all you need to know.
Go to the betting window and_____.
… ask for a two-dollar exacta part-wheel, number 5 on the bottom, with numbers 2 and 6 on top, and watch the mutuel teller’s reaction.
Seriously, anybody who can actually read the Daily Racing Form knows that …
…a horse is a horse, of course, of course, and very few bet on a winning horse, unless, of course, that winning horse would earn very little bread.
Because betting on a sure thing is about as worthless as…