Yeast that won’t rise.
Baking bread makes one feel_____.
… like they’ve accomplished something.
But it took so long to make the bread that …
We had a day at the races.
Groucho had his cigar and_____.
… mustache, and plenty of wisecracks.
However, Jerry Lewis had …
his telethons.
I once entertained the audience during a telethon, I took a hula hoop and
guided it through a coffin.
I can’t do magic tricks anymore, ever since…
…I couldn’t get anything but ostriches to come out of my hat.
And as for my assistant, she entered a box…
… and emerged as a cat.
When my cats saw this, they …
ostracized me.
I won back their respect by…
… turning my assistant back into a human.
At which point, the cats …
forgot everything that happened.
The cats also lost the ability to recognize my face, so I had to wear my custom magician hat all the time, which hampered my ability to…
pull rabbits out of it.
But I was getting tired…
… of pulling rabbits out of hats.
So instead, I started …
putting rabbits in bow ties.
It wasn’t magic, but
tragic that the animal rights activists scolded me.
I joined a protest of theirs so I could…
Remove sweaters from Chihuahuas.
I also let them_______.
… out for a run in an off-leash park.
Which may not have been a good idea, because …
alligator habitat lies near the perimeter of some dog parks.
Fortunately, I always manage to…
… carry anti-alligator spray.
Getting it is not always easy, because …
I wear a fanny pack.
So I grab the____.