… Bat-Utility-Belt, when a fanny pack won’t do.
And then, I’m ready to …
go to the cosplay venue.
I met several people dressed____.
… as Batman, but really, no Batman weighs 350 pounds.
I tried to supress a laugh, but …
someone dressed as the Joker swept me off my feet.
We had a wonderful time even though…
the doctor today says the resulting infection may be antibiotic resistant.
I guess the lesson here is…
some people just want to watch the world burn.
The cosplay conventions will be in for a rude awakening when…
behold, I finally gain the power of mind control!
Telekinesis, on the other hand, is really…
… moving.
The movie Carrie was actually …
… a commercial for dry cleaner products.
Why on earth would anyone in their right mind…
hire a lawyer?
No parent ever wants to…
… lose their child at an amusement park.
The children, on the other hand, just want …
to eat enough cotton candy to be spectacularly ill.
When my niece Brunhilde ate three big bags of cotton candy and then went on the Tilt-A-Whirl, you would not…
… believe the range she got when she got sick.
Hell, it went so far that …
…she won a blue ribbon in the watermelon seed spitting contest despite the fact she wasn’t even technically a participant.
The other great thing about amusement parks and county fairs is…
running into Jehovah’s Witnesses.
But I was banned from riding in the bumper cars after…
Brunhilde drove off in one and wouldn’t bring it back.
She’s quite a feisty little girl; one time she even…
… hijacked one of the planes from the Kiddieland Airplane Ride.
But that doesn’t compare to when she …
marched into the beer garden with her candy cigarettes.
She was mad I’d had her attend a concert featuring…
Josie and the Pussycats.
She would’ve preferred
…taking her pet yak to a concert by the Hu, a Mongolian Heavy Metal Throat-Singing band she found on YouTube when, in searching for the “Shoop Shoop Song,” Brunhilde mistakenly typed “Shoog Shoog.”
Typos have led to many an interesting find, such as…