Brunhilde’s inadvertently naughty transposition of letters in my draft Facebook posting about “all the motherufcking sankes on this motherufcking plnae.”
I keep asking her not to mess around with my FB account, but…
maybe she can’t hear, since I only instruct her not to do things while she is asleep.
It’s not that I’m timid, I just have…
Don’t like the kid.
I’m officially announcing my______.
^^^^ Presidential campaign based on getting all Media providers to use the same effing channel numbers as everyone else.
When I lose, I’ll definitely have to…
leave SDMB forever out of shame and disgrace.
Oh well, maybe I could buy out the site and convert these forums to…
…the Church of the SubGenius.
Or perhaps to a belief in…
the divinity of Orson Bean, as all right-thinking people surely accept in their hearts.
The last time I mentioned Orson Bean around here, …
an Andrew Breitbart colleague (so they claimed!) offered me an internship.
Actually, this person turned out to be…
Sean Bean.
I love english comedy because____.
it’s more palatable than Neil Hamburger.
The only funny thing Australia ever gave the world is…
…an uncanny feeling of déjà vu.
The infobahn is redolent with…
… fake news.
So when I want real news …
I make it up in my head.
The rumor mill is like______.
…a truculent stray dog: it bites the hand that feeds it.
Pet owners often tout…
breath mints.
My breath is extremely…
… minty.
That doesn’t help when I drink …
Hot chocolate. Mint hot chocolate. Yum!
I just invented that. Aren’t you_____.
…a regular in the gallery of Judge Judy?
I was on Judge Judy once. I got sued by my business partner because…
… I didn’t believe, as he did, that the terms of the written contract could be changed by a voice mail message.
But, as Judge Judy told him, …
the writing is on the wall.
My counter claim was unsuccessful because…