I’m in an investment club, and we just gained a new member, V., who’s very pretty and seems smart and cool. She was brought to the club by my friend K., who is one of V.'s coworkers.
Last night I emailed K. I asked her if V. is straight, over 25 and not currently dating anyone. Her reply this morning (received about 9 a.m.) was yes, yes and yes.
My poll is simply this (for the women reading): How likely is it, expressed as a percentage, that K. told V. what I asked her? I didn’t tell K. not to, or imply any such gag order.
And would it even be wise to pursue something like this within a club of only 15 members?
I think it is highly likely that something has been said, either from idle nonmalicious spite and urge for drama (bad), humor or novelty (not AS bad), or urge to catalyze something considered possible (not bad). Prepare for an awkward moment in your near future.
My guess.
I would give you 99:1 odds. Unless I was asked not to, I can’t imagine not passing this on to the person in question in hopes that I could foster something good for both of them.
HerMajestyLorna: The “why not,” again, is because this club is very small, so if something was started and then went south there’d be some tension and awkwardness at the meetings.
phouka: K. is straight and married herself, so she’s not looking for any action from V. K. and I have been friends for 7 years.
hazel-rah, “V” and “K” aren’t even their real initials. One never knows who may be reading this board.
So, what I’m getting from you all is that K. has probably told V. about my interest. This is good, right? So when I go after V., I’ll either get a polite but clear brushoff, or a warm reception. Have I really made things easier for myself for a change?
Originally posted by Fiver: “What’s the downside to this strategy?”
Hey man, if there is one, I don’t see it. Unless you fail to follow up and she winds up sittin’ around waitin’ and wonderin’. If you go for it like most of the wimmin suggest, it ought to be OK. Good luck!
Missed your perceptive posts on the temporary board. Did you go elsewhere, or just use a different name?
Well, yes but…(and JCoM touched upon this) if you have been mentioned (and there’s a very good chance you have) and you then don’t do anything, V. will probably be confused, dissappointed, perpetually apprehensive, hurt, insecure…or some combination of the above. And K. will feel bad because she was part of the cause of this. So you’ve got tension and akwardness already.
So you’re screwed. Except, probably not, because it’s probably actually a really good idea to go ahead and pursue, because why not? Because if things don’t work out you’ll still have to see each other and see people who know both of you? well that’s good motavation to be civil to each other no matter what. What do you think the people who could only date the girls from their own village had to do?
And like you sid, you made things easier for yourself. There is indeed an upside to village life.
So, what I’m getting from you all is that K. has probably told V. about my interest. This is good, right? So when I go after V., I’ll either get a polite but clear brushoff, or a warm reception. Have I really made things easier for myself for a change?
I spent the time away partly at fathom, partly on fathom chat, and mostly updating my LiveJournal more than I had been.
Thanks, all of you, for your replies and advice. Wish me luck: I’m going in!
Yes, I would say it’s extremely likely that they have talked.
And yes, things have been made easy for you. If she’s not interested, she will send clear signals that this is so. Don’t ignore them if you see them, m’kay?
I think you might have a pretty good chance with her. Here’s my line of reasoning:
She probably only joined the investment club to meet a man. After all, you asked if she was over 25, which must mean she appeared to be approximately that age. How many women who are in their late 20’s are so fascinated by the stock market that the join an investing club? When women talk on the phone with their friends do you ever hear them talking about the NASDAQ, or put-call ratios, or corporate earnings? NO. When you open up a copy of Kiplinger’s, do you see a bunch of tampon ads and things like that? NO. The majority of investing is done by MEN because women have no interest in it AT ALL.
And since there are only 15 members total, I don’t know how many are single guys, but the odds could strongly be in your favor. Be confident!
Originally posted by Surreal : " When you open up a copy of Kiplinger’s, do you see a bunch of tampon ads and things like that? NO. "
Good buddy, a few more remarks like the above, and I expect you’ll be making lots of posts. Mostly in “the pit” after having been dragged there by a crew of female investment analysts that also happen to be Doper Chicks. :rolleyes: