I was feeling left out, so I thought I’d put in a tacky one-liner to boost my post count, too.
“Do me, do me baby, oh do me like I’ve NEVER been done before…”
There. Yay. And about as effective as anything else I’ve read here…
ChrisP,
I have great faith in you…if fact, I think you’ve got quite a talent for it. You’ve proven yourself so far. And you deserve a big reward for it too. Don’t you think? It’s hard work being clever all the time…
Shit. Speaking of time…Cinderella’s gotta split the ball. See you tomorrow am. BTW, nice chocolate…
iampunha,
It gets even BIGGER? Hmmmmm. Have to remember that.
take care,
struuter
Hama, so you don’t feel left out, you are fine and I’d do you in a heartbeat, circumstances being different.
Hey Hamadryad, welcome to MPSIMS! It’s mundane, it’s pointless flirting and not just to boost a post count. What exactly does a high post count get you anyway, a cookie?
Just trying to spread a little love that’s all.
I still think we glossed over the fact that I was talking about chocolate and peanut butter, and ChrisP is more closely associated with burnt porcupine meat and licorice.
Minor correction here: The thread that Cecil started was a birthday greeting to Jezebel. Unfortunately for Shayna, Cecil didn’t start HER birthday thread, it was started by the most disliked poster on this board–a notorious troll or sockpuppet, depending on who you listen to.
Chef, I was going to offer to go get some of the chocolate for you, since I do live in Hawaii… Umm…looks at chocolate orgy in progress Seeing as you folks aren’t in any condition to go yourselves, and all…
Thank you for your kind words!
(sigh) If only you weren’t already married. 
“Stars, hide your fires;
Let not light see my black and deep desires”
–Macbeth, Act 1, Scene IV
Well, I’m starting to run low on Shakepearean love/lust/desire quotes. (I was really scraping the “bottom of the barrel” when I posted the Shakespearean felching quote in the following thread):
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=30095
So…let’s try something from Monty Python:
**
Hmm. I think I’d better stick to Shakespeare. 
Yeah, DRY, you’d best leave Monty Python to the pro’s.
DRY,
Hey, you can’t beat MP on the Bard. Well, I guess you could, but you get big points for digging that up anyway–it being so relative and all.
My favorite quote from a poem–really sad to say I don’t even know which one it’s from or even if I have it right–
no one, not even the rain
has such small hands
e.e. cummings
Not lust-inspiring, but what the hell…
ChrisP-- how YOU doin’?
Better, since YOU came in baby. Let me impress you now with my literary knowledge.
There once was a man from Alas
Who’s balls were made of fine brass
In stormy weather, they’d clang together
And a spark would shoot out of his ass.
Oh, yeah. ChrisP scores big with that one. Now isn’t that more impressive than some dead guy?
muffled laughter
Oh yes, much better. And don’t forget who’ll be here for you when the Bard gets through with you. Nothing like a limerick about metal testicles to get a girl all juiced up.
How often do you get Shakespeare and brass balls in one thread? Somebody pinch me, I must be dreaming…
struuter
I knew that would score me big points…
Okay now to be serious.
A little line for you baby…
A Book of Verses underneath the Bough,
A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread - and Thou
Beside me singing in the Wilderness -
Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow!
How’s that baby?
Oooh, very nice. And since you are so busy quoting sweet nothings all over this board…
I’ve got one for you.
From the desert I come to thee,
One a stallion shod with fire;
And the winds are left behind
In the speed of my desire.
-B. Taylor
How’s that? I told you I wasn’t very good at this quoting thing…
struuter
Hey that was beautiful struuter. We can’t all start out as good as DRY, we’re rookies, remember…
Yeah, you’re right. He’s got it going on the sexy quote scale. But don’t sell yourself short…
True wit is nature to advantage, dress’d,
What oft was thought, but ne’er so well expressed.
–Pope
Now, if I could just think of something like that MYSELF…I’d have 'em dropping like flies.
Hey, I never said that I was frickin’ genius! I started out with dirty limericks, myself!
(Though I admit I preferred the “Man from Nantucket” one to the “Man from Alas” one. That, and I changed it to “Priest from Nantucket” to make it even more offensive.
Come to think of it, NO WONDER I got my face slapped so often!) :eek:
Oh come on DRY, the man from Alas is way better than Nantucket. Well, I guess if you were going for overly offensive, it would be better, but I was going for a grin and a groan.
There was a thread awhile back–I don’t remember what it was called, that quickly degenerated into several people commenting on how they could…um…fellate themselves.
For what it’s worth, there seemed to be several people who were quite…proud of their ability to do this, and others who were turned on reading about it. So the concept seemed to turn on more people than it offended (or maybe the offended ones didn’t comment).
The thread was called “what do you do if you catch someone pleasuring themselves?” or something like that. If you’re curious.