You know there is potential for a decent story when you get a call from your 40+ year old friend who is frantically whisper-shouting “Dude! Dude! Dudedudedudedudedudedude - I am SO busted!” into the phone.
He’s in tech sales - he gets a client hooked and is trying to close the sale. Client is at a Tech conference in Vegas - can my friend connect up with Client there and they can talk further? Of course he can, and heads there.
After a nice dinner, Client wants to go to a strip club. My buddy is not the type to actively pursue this type of thing, but will go along to support a sale. His wife is cool about that type of thing, but there is a standard “don’t ask, don’t tell and certainly don’t parade the fact of a strip club run in front of wife” type of understanding between them.
Friend takes Client to Strip Club. Client gets sloshed and has many lap dances. Friend watches, taking in the sights. Client insists on buying Friend a lap dance. Friend demurs. Client insists. Friend relents “fine, okay - just one” then gets up, moves over to the Lap Dance Chair (didn’t know there was a special one) and sits down, preparing to receive Stripper onto his lap.
And, in sitting down, sits on his phone.
And dials a number with his butt.
His home number.
Cut to the next day. Friend his walking in the door to encounter Wife, who, instead of the normal greeting, says “oh, you look good - do you work out? You have a tight back.” and “no, that’s cool, you can stay there - it kind of tickles” etc. Friend struggles to remember exactly where…oh no. Wife proceeds to recite about 10 minutes worth of dialogue transpiring between Friend and Stripper. Much embarrassment ensues and friend is utterly shamed by wife in an amusing, not-really-in-deep-trouble sort of way. Fortunately, he was - within this context - a good boy and didn’t say or do anything that was Bad.
Can you imagine?
Hope you enjoyed - I sure as hell did when he called me later that day!