Funny, Embarrassing Story: Friend at Strip Club (not TMI)

You know there is potential for a decent story when you get a call from your 40+ year old friend who is frantically whisper-shouting “Dude! Dude! Dudedudedudedudedudedude - I am SO busted!” into the phone.

He’s in tech sales - he gets a client hooked and is trying to close the sale. Client is at a Tech conference in Vegas - can my friend connect up with Client there and they can talk further? Of course he can, and heads there.

After a nice dinner, Client wants to go to a strip club. My buddy is not the type to actively pursue this type of thing, but will go along to support a sale. His wife is cool about that type of thing, but there is a standard “don’t ask, don’t tell and certainly don’t parade the fact of a strip club run in front of wife” type of understanding between them.

Friend takes Client to Strip Club. Client gets sloshed and has many lap dances. Friend watches, taking in the sights. Client insists on buying Friend a lap dance. Friend demurs. Client insists. Friend relents “fine, okay - just one” then gets up, moves over to the Lap Dance Chair (didn’t know there was a special one) and sits down, preparing to receive Stripper onto his lap.

And, in sitting down, sits on his phone.

And dials a number with his butt.

His home number.

Cut to the next day. Friend his walking in the door to encounter Wife, who, instead of the normal greeting, says “oh, you look good - do you work out? You have a tight back.” and “no, that’s cool, you can stay there - it kind of tickles” etc. Friend struggles to remember exactly where…oh no. Wife proceeds to recite about 10 minutes worth of dialogue transpiring between Friend and Stripper. Much embarrassment ensues and friend is utterly shamed by wife in an amusing, not-really-in-deep-trouble sort of way. Fortunately, he was - within this context - a good boy and didn’t say or do anything that was Bad.

Can you imagine?

Hope you enjoyed - I sure as hell did when he called me later that day!

What was she doing on his back?

Wow, a recipient of that ever so rare, extremely elusive You Screwed Up Royally, but in a Good Way Award. You and the rest of his friends need to have a ceremony for him. Oh, and have his phone bronzed.

Quietly wondering if there’s ever been a husband/SO sneaky enough to actually come up with and implement this scenario on his own…

Remind your friend to sue that feature on his phone that disables the exposed buttons until he enters a code.

Ah, he’ll probably figure it out on his own now…

I want a friend that can dial with his butt.

No - you want a stripper who can dial with her butt - but put that level of, er, dexterity, to other uses.

It’s not that hard. I’ve dialled the RAC breakdown assistance number that way before now. While the phone was hidden under layers of waterproofs. And I must’ve looked all kinds of idiot standing on the stairs yelling at myself that it was an accidental call and I couldn’t get my hands to the 'phone. :smack: :rolleyes: :smiley:

At first I thought you were whooshing me - but then I realized there was a miscue. That line about having a “tight back” was something Friend said to Stripper, not the other way around - apparently at the start of her lap dance she had her back to him…he didn’t tell me in that kind of detail; I am just assuming.

Like I said - he doesn’t do that sorta thing that often…don’t know if the whole “tight back” line was really workin’ for him…which ultimately was a good thing down the line!

Two words- flip phone. No more ‘accidentally dialed numbers’ situations.

I know a guy who butt dialed a friend of his while driving along…singing “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred. I’m sure he would have traded a stripper/wife scenario over the hell he caught from his buddy.

I too would rather take the angry wife. Ouch.

What about the shrew of a girlfriend who accidentally dialed her boyfriend’s mom while having a very TMI conversation about exactly what her boyfriend was lacking and how inept he was sexually with her ex female lover? (The mother told me about it.)

My flipphone has a button on the side that causes it to take a picture. That would be more embarassing. :slight_smile:

I did that once, in my parents car, teaching someone to drive who wasn’t supposed to be driving it. Oh yeah. I learned how to use KEY GUARD fast after that. And now I have a flip phone. Woot.

I still don’t understand the whole “girls against strip clubs” thing - as long as my boyfriend ain’t having sex with said stripper, I’m cool. In fact, if I’m in the mood for drinking, I’ll go along - just no lap dances unless they’re real. :smiley:


Yes oh yes, key guard is a good friend.

i agree with tashabot I really dont understand what the big deal of something as silly as mrAru going to a strip club. He is married, not dead. Although he really doesnt like most strip clubs - they are too expensive to drink much in, and many times the music is too loud to have a coherent conversation in while watching, and frequently the girls arent really that hot. He much prefers to actually go to a beach and girl watch. Quiet, sun, surf, sand and he can bring his own drinks and relax. Nothing like a great game of beach volleyball in his opinion.

Me? I have gone to see strippers before [female, not male] and I have nothing against them, I have even bought guys lap dances before, though wasnt particularly interested in getting a lap dance of my own. I would rather just go home, have a nice quiet night at home and get laid instead of going out for a loud expensive night of not getting any. I would rather get laid then fap in solitude

Oh, that’s nothing. My phone has this new-fangled internet connection thinge. I don’t have a clue how to work it with my hands, but I frequently surf the net with my butt.

Explains a lot of my recent posts to the Dope, really.

Ah, I got it. After my post, I got to thinking maybe she was giving him a massage and felt tension there.

Hijack alert - we’ve gone round and round regarding the stripper issue on these boards - that’s not what this thread is about. If you want a really entertaining, six page trainwreck, start a thread about whether or not strippers are okay.

(Was that Junior Modding? I was aiming for “Wiser Older Member.”)

I vote for wiser, featherlou. Thanks for the support.