Question: What do a thousand people need to buy this week to make Cecil happy?
Answer: The Gross National Product.
Question:
How do the French refer to the mass marketing of mini American Flags made from fish bones and rotting mayonnaise?
Answer:
Just let it cool in the window sill.
Question: What should I do with my diaphragm when I am done with it?
Answer: A big can of Crisco™, a dead poodle, and three condoms.
What did I find in my trunk this morning? (Also, How can I tell my car is getting more ass than I am?)
Oops, here’s my answer.
Three hundred miles of dirt road.
What separates me from my lover, the mule that lives in Nebraska?
A. We only managed to get one tonsil out…
Why won’t my lover allow me to perform cunnilingus anymore?
A : It only taste’s right in glass bottles.
Q : Why is Dr. Pepper’s wife filing for divorce?
• - • - •
A : The Good Humor Man’s ice cream truck.
What did my uncle Bob by at the flea market last week?
A: Meow. Woof-woof.
What is TV Funhouses’s answer to foreplay?
A. We found him in the hot tub with that hot little spaniel from down the street.
Why was George Bush replaced with an audio-animatronic robot?
A : Six of one and twelve on the dollar.
Q. What time was it when you extorted him and exactly how many millions did you get?
A. I can stop any time I want!
Q: What can a woman say while urinating that a man can not?
A: By visiting every rest stop on I-95.Question: How did Elton John get to drink a quart of sperm?
Answer: Nice work if you can get it.
Q: What is a prostitute?
A: Pork loin, baby backs, and head cheese.
Q: What’s in Hannibal’s favorite sausage recipe?
A: Third star to the left, and straight on 'til morning.
Q: What were the navigational instructions for the last Mars probe?
And one missed earlier, from FairyChatMom:
Q: How’s Bush adjusting to life in the White House?
And a new “answer”:
A: Big enough for a camel.
Q: How well is Jack Batty hung?
[sub]I wish![/sub]
A: He thought it was a gravy boat.
Q: Why did Dom Deluise take up sailing?
A: Stray Dorkers.
Q: Word association: “English Cricket”
A: That fuzzy little ball at the end of a poodle’s tail.