Q. What would you probably need to intake to sound like the devil from The Exorcist?
A. The mark of the beast.
Q: What did Cogsworth, Lumiere and Mrs. Potts all notice on Belle’s neck the next morning?
A: That’s why they call them “floppy” diskettes.
What did Bill Gates’s computer obssessed lover say to him upon his failure to procure the Viagra?
Answer:
I don’t know but it’s standing behind you!!
Q: Shaggy and Scooby–what’s an overused line from this show!?
Answer: But I don’t love all the ice cream fixin’s!
Question: Didn’t you say that you love it when I use whipped cream as a lubricant?
Answer: Mad cows.
What do you get when you try to milk a bull.
A : Walt Disney’s penis.
Q: What Disneyland ride required an F-ticket?
A: Piscataway, NJ
Q. Is there a place where brave young elves run free, where maidens clad in garments made of the finest silk await their heroes after slaying the fiercest dragon in the land, where the unicorn and pegasus run free and unafraid, a land of miracles and enchantments where life is simple and men and women are judged solely by the quality of their thoughts and the purity of their motives?
A. Trickle down theory.
Q: What do they use to design urinals?
A: Eskimo pies.
Q: Why was George W. Bush excited about visiting the Alaskan math class?
A: Jeri Ryan’s breasts.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Protesilaus *
**
What takes advantage of the finest Borg AntiGravity technology?
A: Infinity Plus
How long will Cecil go on fighting Ignorance?
A. As pink as the Energizer Bunny.
Q: What color do you think Mac will use for their new line of computers?
A: He was seasick for the first week.
A: Infinity Plus
Q: What is the length of time involved in waiting in a bulk supplies grocery store cash line-up when everyone is paying by cheque, it’s the checker’s first day on the job, and she doesn’t speak any English?
A: That’s the way my dad always did it.
Question: Why do you jerk off that way?
Answer: A nice hot tub and a glass of wine.
Q: What are things that I really owe to my right hand…
A: A camel, a pair of handcuffs, and a small vial of an unidentified white liquid.
Q: What is required for Astroboy14’s dream holiday…
A: An eyeball on a shelf.
What’s the main reason I quit my job at Mickie D’s?
Answer: But I didn’t put the lemonade in the fridge!
Q: I sent your urine sample off to the doctors and finished that lemonade in the fridge, ok?
A: 6 hairy men and a really dirty toothbrush
Q. describe Robert Downey Jr.'s next party.
A. A set of the *Straight Dope * books.