Q. Why does your dog have a perpetual woody?
A. Neon leopard-print knee length boots.
Q: Hey, guess what I got at Dennis Rodman’s garage sale?
A: Bacon grease under each arm.
What is a diner chef’s definition of symmetry?
A. Mustard with pickle juice.
Question: What did Elvis wash down his Bacon and Bananna sandwiches with?
Answer: The beating heart of a virgin and a copy of the Watchtower.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Zoggie *
**
Q. What is the aperitif of choice at Chez Roseanne?
A: Tiger Woods, Siegfried, and Roy
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Hastur *
**
q. What did they find looking for a Jehovah’s Witness who visited Jeffrey Dahmer?
A. (again) Tiger Woods, Siegfried, and Roy
Question: Name the stars of the movie Crouching Tiger Hidden Faggots.
Answer: It beats me.
Q. “Madonna, what is the purpose of your automated S&M machine?”
A: The Sahara desert
Questions: What will Bill Gates buy next?
Answer: Salt from Utah.
Question: What should you order after dinner in Las Vegas?
Answer: Hallie Eisenberg.
Q: Doctor, can you recommend something for my husband’s over-active libido?
Answer: Player piano
Thomas Kinkades favorite kind of music
coconut cream pie, candles and wicker furniture
Question: What did George W. Bush try and drop on the minority leader before he discovered Acme™ products?
Answer: Prince and Morris Day.
A: Coconut cream pie, candles, wicker furniture, Prince and Morris Day
Q: What was the inspiration for Day’s hit “The Bird”?
A: Robin’s egg blue.
Q: Why is there egg all over Robin?
A: Your arm will explode.
Question: I know I won’t go blind. What will really happen if I masterbate too much?
Answer: Fission yeast cells.
Q: What ya doin’ with yer fishin’ pole in dat vat o’ beer?
A: 1000 paper clips linked in a chain.
Q: What feels even better than anal beads?
A: Two dislocated shoulders, seven broken ribs and a nasty nosebleed.
A: Two dislocated shoulders, seven broken ribs and a nasty nosebleed.
Q: What did Jack Batty get when he tried to take away Attrayant’s 1000 paper clips linked in a chain?
A: Because I said so.
What is the one thing that Marcel Marceau cannot mime?
A : Cigarettes, whiskey and wild, wild, ocelots.