Q: So what’s your newest excuse for hitting the poor defenseless sparrows with the windshield of your car?
A. Sammy Hagar’s childhood teddy bear.
Q: What the hell are these bits of stuffing and fur all over the carpet?
A: We’ll get stuck if you don’t.
Q: Why do I need Vaseline?
A: Three pounds of lard and a stuffed turkey
Q: So, what’s the usual dowry hereabouts??
A: If you do, he’ll piddle all over the place!
Q: Should we tell the president that China just invaded Taiwan?
A: If you do, it’ll burn your tongue.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Baraqiyal *
**
Q: The Top Ten Reasons not to shoot a "Howling Tequila Slammer A Flambe’… number ten?
A: That’s why I bought a webcam.
Q. How can Crunchy Frog see you naked?
A. The Made-for-TV Movie of the Week.
Q. Valerie Bertinelli is credited with what modern day invention?
A: All the belly-button lint in the world.
Q. What won’t save sailors from an untimely death at sea?
A. An elephant gun.
Forgotten Answers
Biggirl:
A: Only if it smells
Q: Should I eat this?
Hastur:
A: A Black Hole
Q: What will be left when Cecil’s brain goes the way of the rat he replaced?
Bearflag 70:
A: David Bowie and mustard
Q: What would you like on your hot dog?
Bearflag 70:
A: Roman numerals
Q: In terms of ease of use, what is to our current numeric system what imperial is to metric?
Catrandom:
A: David Copperfield and Claudia Schiffer
Q: Who stole my stretch jeans, loose-fitting shirt, and hair mousse?
Current:
A: An elephant gun.
Q: What goes best with plaid?
Now mine:
A: Not in the face!
Q: What was Traci Lords’ most frequent phrase in her porn days?
A: Dan Quayle, Monica Lewinsky, and George W. Bush.
Q: Name three people who suck at leadership.
A: In case of emergency, pull down.
Q: What does the tag that UncleBeer’s mother sewed inside his underware say?
A: Shaved my legs and wrecked 'em.
Q. How did Diane ruin her stockings?
A. That little thing that hangs down at the back of your throat.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by UncleBill *
**
Question: What does George W. refer to as his VULVA?
Answer: To get to the other side.
No, no, allow me …
Nice friggin’ coding, Jack. :wally
Question: What’s the point of a seance?
Answer: The Arizona Diamondbacks
Q: Which team is saved from having the lamest name in the majors only by the existence of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays?
A: When you realize the thread is dead, already.
A: When you realize the thread is dead, already.
Q: When should you begin flinging insults at other posters, make deliberately provocative claims and, simply put, quit pulling your punches?
oops…
A: Because it feels good.