zephonith is one of the newer members of the Justice Dopers. With both abs and buns of steel zephonith rules the back alleys of Aukland instilling fear in jaywalkers and people who refuse to curb their dogs. The ones who live in greatest fear however are the neighborhood children who dread zephonith’s babysitting abilities. When not out fighting crime zephonith roams the forests nearby as mild-mannered Buck Bark, working for the Autumn Planet and nibbling on berries and leaves. His only disguise? A thick pair of glasses. Leaving many to wonder, why a deer would be wearing a thick pair of glasses?
Nonetheless if your ever in danger just give the call of the wild, those ears aren’t decortions you know.
Osiris, dread Egyptian Lord of the Dead; faster than a speeding scarab, more powerful than a Sphinx, able to leap tall pyramids in a single bound. Osiris fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice and the Straight Dope[sup]TM[/sup] way.
His primary weapon is the ability to raise the spirit of any mortal who ever lived, which not only allows him to solve the mysteries of the Universe by simply asking somebody who was there, but makes him great fun at parties.
Minor Irritant, who was afflicted at birth with a highly contagious skin infection on his palms, attacks enemies by giving them a slighty annoying rash on the insides of their elbows. The ichy sensation slowly drives them mad until they break and turn themselves in. His weakness is a cooling, soothing topical creme formulated with camphor and menthol (Only $9.29 at walgreens).
Stiletto has the power to sharpen any blade and his (or possibly her, no one has been bold enough to make a try given their Parts might get shredded) fingers become razor talons to shred unwary posters.
** aquariusrhimme ** a superhero with fishy gills who can breathe underwater, yet who can be foiled by his/her? desire to lick the anal orifices of guppies.
LurkMeister bastard child of the Kinkos copy man of SNL fame–known for his cutesy way of talking. Able to hide in any dimly lit place.
Previously, BottledBlondJeanie was but a lowly administrative assistant working deep in the bowels of EvilPharmaceutical Inc, until one day, due to a mix up by a dreaming astronaut who thought she was someone else, she stumbled across details of EvilPharmaceutical’s plans for world domination through a horribly convoluted plan involving a new addictive hair conditioner which leaves it’s victim’s hair soft but ever so manageable.
Whilst trying to escape from the deadly (yet strangely cute) bewigged robot guard dogs, she stumbled into a vat of strawberryblonde #49.
Since then she has used her secret identity to take down EvilPharmaceutical from the inside, using her powers of all-encompassing ditziness to confuse anyone who gets in her way.
flairgun with the astonishing power to ignite into bright orange flames, without dying!
Originally just an ordinary person, flairgun was suddenly given these superpowers when flairgun’s DNA was mixed with the DNA of a flare-gun! (It was one of those living, breathing, reproducing flare guns. You know, the kind that has DNA)
So named because because his adopted parents found him wrapped in swaddling clothes at the feet of the Statue of Liberty. All growed up now, Michael foils darkness everywhere with his handy lighter, offering a flame to forgetful parents for their child’s birthday candles, showing the way to the bathroom for small children when the power goes out, and brightening the day for the local crackheads just trying to get their fix. Mr. Ellis anticipates being allowed to play with matches in the coming months.
A mild mannered programmer by day, at night he becomes a supervillian’s nightmare. Taking his mad programming skillz to the extreme, Recursion is able to make any criminal repeat his last mistake, repeat his last mistake, repeat his last mistake… Break… until the authorities arrive to cart the looping lawbreaker off to jail. Recursion is distinguished by his black form-fitting outfit with a lethal Do…While emblazoned in large white letters on his chest.
JimSox5, a man few others can be, is able to create socks out of thin air if the need should arise. Also there comes the need for an offensive weapon aside from ninchuck socks, using the odorous tendancy of feet he can create socks so smelly they put gas grenades out of style.
“He is the sock which other socks wish to be - he is JimSock”
Straight outta New Tokyo, ronincyperbunk fights computer crime at its source: inside the Matrix. With an avatar resembling a rogue samurai (though clad in unfashionable neon purple & pink armor), he rides the electron beam pathways with his ICE-sword drawn, ready to strike down hackers, crackers, phreakers and other informatic thieves. In his off time he frequents Internet cafes and plays incessant Mortal Kombat games Tron-style.
Somebody please redo me. JimSox5 has turned me into a centaur.
Horseflesh
Rich, cultured, millionare playboy horse breader by day, costumed crusader by night! An accomplished rider who discovered at an early age that he can communicate telepathicly with horses, he rides a mystical black stallion, named Midnight, through the city fighting crime anywhere he finds it. Many who see him in action feel that he must be part horse himself, due to the speed and strength he displays beating up on the bad guys. He also can finish off a bag of oats in record time.
Tsk, tsk. Looked in your profile, reviewed all of your posts (you did a LOT of word association!) did the best I could. So I’d say 9 out of 10 in total. Although I see I no longer have male in my profile, :smack: better put that back.
Linus Van Pelt: Quotes the bible while his security blanket calms and soothes the criminal element. Ruffians, hooligans, and ne’er-do-wells are transformed into helpless babes, ready for carting off to jail.
