"So… how do you like your eggs in the morning?
Fertilized?"
Never tried it, never will.
“I raise chickens. Want to come over and see my cock?”
:: licks finger ::
:: touches finger to shirt ::
Let’s get you out of those wet clothes!
I used this one last night. As a joke, I swear!
Hey, want to come over to my house for a pizza and sex?
What’s the matter, you don’t like sex?
Oh my God, do any of these actually work? What’s wrong with, “Hi, can I buy you a drink?”
Hello, I’m blind. Can I get to know you by rhythmically massaging your breasts?
Hi, my name’s Iguana Boy, you need to know that as you’ll be screaming it at the ceiling later on…
“hold my pint im going for a shit”
or if she’s kinky
“hold my shit im going for a pint”
Someone actualy did this to me AskNott
I have to admit I laughed 
Right-o. 
I like that-- “Sexual Ray Gun”.
Guy: Do you sleep on your chest?
Babe: No.
Guy: Can I?
He: “This watch I’m wearing gives me psychic powers.”
She: “Yeah, right.”
He: “No, really. For instance, I happen to know you’re not wearing panties.”
She: “Well, it doesn’t work. I am wearing panties.”
He: (acting confused and looking at watch) “Oh, I forgot. It’s running a half hour fast…when you’re at my place.”
He: “Wanna dance?”
She: “No.”
He: “Then I guess a blowjob is out of the question.”
He: “Would you go to bed with me for a million dollars?”
She: “Well, sure!”
He: “How about for fifty thousand dollars?”
She: “I suppose I probably would.”
He: “How about for ten dollars?”
She: “Just what kind of woman do you think I am?”
He: “Oh, we’ve established that. Now we’re just negotiating on the price.”
I’m really NOT a sexist pig,
TN*hippie
I’ve HEARD that this was used successfully…dunno if I believe it:
“Wanna go behind the bushes and take it up the ass?”
Was your father Jehovah? Because you’re giving me a firmament.
You don’t sweat much for a fat bird.
Guy to girl: How much does a Polar bear weigh?
Girl: I don’t know
Guy: Neither do I but it breaks the ice.
Your mamma must have worked in a juice factory because you are very fine!
A creepy guy came up to me in a bar and ask: “So… are your parents expecting you home tonight?”
Homer shudder
Guy: rubs his face
Girl: What’re you doing that for?
Guy: Just clearing a place for you to sit.
I always liked this one:
<run around, frantically looking and calling “heeeere Poochie, Poochie” until someone approaches>
Them: Do you need any help looking for your dog?
You: Sure! I’m looking for my puppy! I think he ran into this cheap motel room.