Okay, Already in Use’s Jehovah line would TOTALLY work on me.
Not one I’d actually use, but I came up with “I have a nine-inch tongue and I can breathe through my ears. Would you like to come home with me?” I shared this with one of my college apartmentmates (he was 19 or 20 at the time), and he didn’t get why those would be desirable qualities. I told him if he didn’t know, I wasn’t going to explain it.
Bah… you told it wrong. It’s:
M: You wanna come back to my place for some pizza and sex?
H: <slap>
M: What, you don’t like pizza?
<or>
H: <slap>
M: Okay, how about Chinese?
<or>
H: <slap>
M: Okay, forget the pizza.
Anyway, my favorite are the turn down come-backs i.e.:
M: You wanna dance?
H: Not with you.
M: No, I’m afraid you misheard me, I said your ass looks fat in those pants.
M: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
H: Unfertilized.
M: That’s cool… I’ll just cum on your face.
M: Is this seat empty?
H: Yes, but if you sit there, this one will be.
M: Yeah, 'cause you’ll be on the floor sucking my dick.
M: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
H: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.
M: Really? I heard it was because you’re a fat slut and no one likes you.
Hehe. 
But anyway, this best pick-up line of all time is still:
How you doin’?
Guy: I’ll have a pint of Jack Daniel’s please.
Barmaid: Jack Daniel’s doesn’t come in pints.
Guy: I do.
Stop drop and roll baby, because you’re on FIRE!!!
Oh my God, Simetra! I waughed so hard I woke up my roommate reading your post!
“I heard it was because you are a fat slut and noone likes you.”
I don’t know how I’m supposed to get that one out of my head!
My brother has one he says every time a cute girl walks by
"hey baby wanna wrestle? "
My brother has one he says every time a cute girl walks by
"hey baby wanna wrestle? "
He’s never said this to a girls face tho
“I don’t want this to like come off like I’m using a line, but I was wondering, uh, does, this, uh sound like a line?”
Or “The weevils! The weevils! They sent in the weevils! Nurse!”
No, but a girl I know says someone used the following line on her in a bar:
“Your parents must be really retarded, coz you’re extra-special.”
For the record I have never used any of the above mentioned lines… really… I promise.
And for my tiny contributions (which no one should ever use),
That dress becomes you, of course if I were on you I’d be cumming too.
Fuck me if I’m wrong, but don’t you want to blow me?
Heaven must be sad, because they’re missing an angel.
You’re well spoken, and I’m well hung.
In the 70s:
’ would you be interested in a brief meaningless affair?’
Forgot one for dopefests:
Hormones in semen make women happier, wouldn’t you like to be happier?
(This pick up line was brought to you courtesy of a post by Celyn, thought without any form of consent, still I think the blame should be shared equally)
"Does the number forty-two mean anything to you at all?"
OK - so it only works for a very small subset of the population… (I used it twice got dates on 2 occasions and a spouse on the third…)
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My dad swears he actually used to use this one:
(touching a girl’s shoulder)
“Is this shirt cotton, or can it be felt?”
He also got slapped a lot.
Next time you are talking to a woman and jobs get brought up in a conversation tell her you used to work as a card writer for Hallmark, ask her if she wants to hear one of your poems. If she doesn’t agree bring her around, then say:
“Roses are Red, Violets are blue,
Wanna fuck?”
Works neverytime
I’m a little surprised nobody has mentioned the oldest, most classic line (it was later made into a country song)…
“If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”
Okay, so it’s cliche’…but I still like it.
What’s your sign?
TN*hippie
He stole that from Beavis and Butthead, I suspects.