Lumberjacks are as much a part of History as Ancient Astronauts, Ice Road Truckers and Pawn Stars.
freckafree:
I came in to contribute this very joke. The variant I heard: The rule of the lumber camp was that, if you complained about the food, you’d be assigned as the camp cook, a job no one wanted, so generally the lumberjacks will eat pretty much anything without complaining. The new guy doesn’t realize this, complains, and ends up as the cook, which he hates. He’s trying desperately to think of something he can fix that’s so awful, someone will complain. So he bakes up a big moose turd pie. Etc., etc., etc.
Utah Phillips told this one.
185 lumberjacks from the great Pacific Northwest walk into a bar with silly grins on their faces. Bartender says “I’m sorry, we don’t serve lumberjacks from the great Pacific Northwest, and… Hey, what are you all grinning about?” The 185 lumberjacks from the great Pacific Northwest said “I’d a ho’!”
gigi:
A blonde travels to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She meets a foreman of a logging organization who offers to give her a job.
“Now, I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day,” the foreman told her.
The blonde woman didn’t see this as a problem, so she went out with the Chainsaw and did her best. She came back drenched in sweat.
“Geez lady, how many trees did you cut down?” asked the foreman.
“6” she replied.
“What!? You have to do better than that. Get up earlier tomorrow!”
So she did. Out she went with the chainsaw, she came back that night
“How many this time?” asked the foreman. “12” she said. The foreman says, “That does it. I’m coming out there with you tomorrow morning!”
The next morning, the foreman reaches the first tree and says, “This is how to cut down trees really quickly.” He pulls the rope on the chainsaw and it gives off a loud BRRRRRRUUUMMM. He notices the blonde is looking at him frantically, so he asks her what’s wrong.
And she replies, “What the hell is that noise?”
Either I don’t get it, or it’s not funny.
Apparently she was cutting down the trees without using the motor on the chainsaw. It’s a lot harder that way, believe me.
