Grabbing someone's dick while peeing is a real turn on?

About a month ago, I was visiting some friends in Dallas. It was an enjoyable Sunday. I had Monday morning off, so I did not have to worry about making it to Houston until the morning.

We spent the afternoon around Fair park. At night, we went to a bar (I can’t remember the name, but it could have been “The Cove”) with dollar beer night. Kind of an interesting dive. A lot of college students, gay men, cute females, artsy types, and people who want to drink cheap beer. The two restrooms were coed, one toilet apiece, and had a sign that said “One person allowed in bathroom,” or something very close to that. I was told by my friends, Julie and Darren, that this was due to past drug deals. Having a bit of a reputation can make for an adventurous dive experience.

After enjoying a few dollar beers I had to go to the restroom. I approach the door to find them locked, upon which I turned around to notice a line. I humbly went to the end of the line. There was a cute girl in front of me who looked “lesbian chic,” and a man behind me. I made simple, silly conversation with them while passing the time until a restroom opened up to me. My mind focused on how badly I had to go I walked in, not locking the door.

At places in Houston, I have done this as well. When someone opened the door, he realized that it was occupied and closed the door and waited his turn.

Back to the story, I had my unit out and was underway emptying my bladder when the guy who was behind me walks in. I heard him enter and saw him in my peripheral vision. Being naive and being well in the middle of a good piss which would cause some discomfort stopping, I kept peeing. He wasted no time. In a moment I feel a hand on my ass and saw a hand going for the hose. Reflectively, I grab his wrist, his hand less than an inch from the jewels, turned my head to him and firmly said “NO!” My bladder was still largely full of fluid, yet the hose was now down to a trickle, I focus on getting it back on high and finishing my pee. The guy slowly backed out of the restroom.

It happened so fast; I had to pee so bad; and I was enjoying a rather jovial buzz that I did not realize the weight of the situation until well after it happened. I went back to my friends and joked with them about it. But the next day I thought “What the Fuck!”

I am not knocking all gay men for this. All groups have their assholes. I am also aware that men, gay or straight, often act differently when women are not around. The answer to why gay men are so horny is because men, gay and straight, tend to be horny. But shit! Who gets off to messing around with someones hose when he is in a good piss. It’s kind of fucked up to to get off to grabbing it at this moment, but even more fucked up to want it messed with. I would not enjoy a cute girl grabbing it at this moment.

OK, the only gay bars I have really been into were somewhat female friendly (except once, when I also really had to pee). I hear there are gay bars which do everything except put up “no girls” signs to keep women out. Maybe grabbing someones dick when they are peeing is a turn on to some, but this was fucked up…

…and dangerous. Had I been in a really pissy mood, I would have called you a sick fuck, and lectured you for a spell. A more dangerous person would have beaten you to a pulp.

I am a big guy, in good shape, with a shaved head. Maybe in Dallas that gives off Gaydar, but shit! If I am interested in a girl and get friendly vibes, I share a drink with them.

And now, the obvious question: why didn’t you just pee on him? Afraid he might like it?

That’s so ridiculous that I’d sooner believe he was trying to help you than make an advance.

I would have pissed on him a la Jack Nicholas in Wolf (I think that’s the name of the movie).

You are not going to believe this but the exact same thing happened to my father when my whole family was eating at a restaraunt. He went to the bathroom and didn’t come back for a while. What happened was almost exactly as you described except my father, who is a pretty big guy, grabbed him and slammed his head and slammed it into the urinal until the guy was unconsious. The paramedics and police came but the guy didn’t want to go to the hospital. He was charged with assault and my father was cleared because his actions were ruled an act of self-defense.

Well, I’m gay, and if somebody tried this with me I’d have done at least what you did, but probably would’ve been more violent. Like pushing the guy off and saying, “What in the holy fuck are you doing, asshole?” Even saying, “well, I guess the guy was horny” is no excuse. That’s fucked up.

But don’t think for a second that it’s not a gay vs straight thing. It’s a pervert who touches another guy’s dick unsolicited thing.

I had a guy lick my neck outta the blue in a bar one time. I just stared him straight in the eye and said “You’re going to have to go a lot farther than that to shock me”. He wandered off in confusion(disapointment?). I had to wonder how he didn’t keep getting his clock cleaned, if licking strangers is a habit, especially another man who you don’t know from Adam…

Your father should have been charged with assault and battery. His “defense” was Grotesquely incomisserate with the nature of the “assault” by the other guy. Self defense, by law, cannot involve any more force than is necessary to stop the “threat”, such as it was. A simple “no” probably would have sufficed in this case. The fact that your dad was made out to be the “victim” is an illustration of inherent homophobia in the system.

You father sounds like a violent hyper-reactive asshole if that story is true.

Only in your world. A sound beating is certainly in order when the jewels are unexpectedly grabbed; It is an immutable law of nature.

No. Sorry. A grope does not give you free license to beat a person unconscious.

Imagine the dick grabber is a woman. Would you still be justified in bashing her head repeatedly into a urinal until she was unconscious?

Only if you’re a violent scumbag.

Outstanding, stuff like this makes me soar with joy that the panzification of the world has not succeeded.


If Richard Simmons gropes for my precious, it ass-kickin’ time for sure, not about to stand for such an offense to my manly dignity! 'Course, Mike Tyson does it, I’d probably try to be more understanding.

You could have just ignored it and seen where things went–worst that could’ve happened is a hand-job, eh?

Man, that reminds me of the local Denny’s when I was a teenager. Very strange.

First of all FuckFace there was more to it than that. The guy grabbed my father from behind and grabbed his upper body with one arm and tried to grab his dick with the other. My father was obviously pissing at the time so it took a second to stop the flow. The guy hard a large, hard hairbrush in his hand that was around my father’s body for some reason. When my father went to break free, the guy bashed him in the face with the brush. A struggle started and my father finally bashed his head into the urinal but the guy continued to fight. My father still couldn’t break free so he did it again. Same result. Finally, he hit his head hard enough to knock him unconscious. Only then was he free.

Luckily this was in Louisiana and not in Diogenes Land where you actually have the right to defend yourself against sexual assault. Did you tell your mother that when she gets raped, she should lay back in enjoy it? We wouldn’t want to hurt any rapists now would me. They may just be having a bad day.

And yes, Dimwit, if it was a woman that assaults a man, he has a perfect right to use force to defend himself. If it takes, knocking her unconscious then so be it.

And BTW, my father is not an asshole. He has no temper whatsoever but he does have enough self-respect to stop someone from grabbing his privates from behind. Maybe he just should have starting saying “Oh yeah baby, go lower” until the guy finished whatever it was that he wanted to do.

And we will conclude with a joke:

A guy walks into a bar and screams “Diogenes the Cynic is an asshole”. A guy on a barstool turns around and says “Hey, I resent that!”. The first guy says “I am sorry. Are you Diogenes the Cynic?” The guy on the barstool says “No, I’m an asshole.”

I would ask you to apologize but everyone knows that self-righteous pricks don’t really understand the concept.

I am shocked by your father’s reaction. I can understand your father grabbing the perpetrator’s hand, removing him from the stall/pushing him away, and giving him a harsh tongue-lashing, followed by legal action. But the violence with which your father reacted frightens me. Did your father feel seriously threatened by this man? Did the perp. grab him really hard?

What would have happened if your father had caused brain damage? Yikes, this just seems like a bad* Law and Order * episode. I’m sorry your father had this experience.

Perhaps he didn’t understand the “concept” because you described it very differently in your first post by ommitting some very relevant details.

Bolding mine.


A stranger grabbing your love-sack in a public restroom is pretty fucking threatening, no two ways about it. What the hell does it take to goad some of you into defending yourselves?

Imagine if the grabee was a woman. C’mon, you’d be cheering her!

I’d’ve done the same thing (or tried to, anyway) and I’m partial to the idea of a guy grabbing my cock, provided he asks first.

Why would it take so little for you to go roid-rage? Don’t you think there’s a middle ground between lying back and thinking of England and putting some drunk idiot in the hospital?