No sweetie, you are the one who’s stupid.
You must be stupid. Either that or illiterate. These are the only two reasons I can think of that, despite my saying at least three times that both the OP and Shagdaddy have the right to physically defend themselves to stop sexual assault, you continue to ask me whether I think they have the right to defend themselves.
Oh wait, there’s a third possibility. You might be an asshole.
So yeah. Stupid, illiterate or an asshole.
Ditto.
I did have a guy grab my crotch in public while I was a drink waiter. I showed him his hand and pointed out that if he wanted to keep the appendage it needed to stay off me.
He did it again as I was passing so I slammed him into a wall.
I got fired and I didn’t and still don’t regret a thing. Being an ass and sexually harassment knows no sexual preference.
Yeah… going overboard and brutalizing someone is beyond FUCKED UP.
This is the same sort of ‘gay panic’ defense that allowed gay bashers to get off for years before most judges realized it was crap.
Your father would have been justified in punching the guy out, but after that it is brutality and is just showing evidence of his issues and lack of restraint.
That you defend his trogolodyte reaction says nothing good about you.
I fucking clocked the guy I mentioned in my previous post and left it at that. Had he been stupid and tried anything further then I’d have been justified in further action. He didn’t, and some of us adults can show restraint and know when enough is enough.
What is it with straight people and stereotyping?
Homicide for an unwanted grope.
:rolleyes:
So if a guy grabs my package in the men’s room it is unreasonable to assume that he is gay? It’s not like a woman would be groping me in the men’s room. So explain to me how this is a stereotype.
I just don’t get the extreme measures men take to defend their willies.
While I fully understand that having your penis grabbed in a urinal would warrant a defensiveaction-I cannot believe that it would entitle anyone smash someone’s head repeatedly against a urinal.
When I was younger,I worked in bars and used public transportation.
If it was acceptable to kill someone for being fondled without consent, the EL would be littered with bodies.
I hated it and I always caused a scene but I never thought my tits were worth killing someone over, if that makes sense.
It depends on which way around you say it.
If a guy grabs your package in the bathroom, it’s quite reasonable to assume he’s gay.
But if a guy is gay, it’s not reasonable to assume that he grabs strange men’s packages in bathrooms.
And the latter is what flickster was implying when he asked:
Mockingbird’s comment was not in response to an assumption that the groper was gay, but to the implied stereotype that all gay men cruise bathrooms looking to fondle other men’s genitals.
Please. The stereotype is that all gay guys are just waiting to grope strangers in bathrooms. Try reading the posts before you act all defensive. The poster said “What is it with gay guys and groping?” Which is bullshit.
Look, people, it’s fucking simple, and stop trying to complicate it:
Feeling a stranger up in a public bathroom is sexual assualt. It’s wrong, and it’s indefensible, and the victim is completely warranted in putting a stop to it.
Saying that gay guys as a group are all just waiting to feel up unsuspecting straight guys in bathrooms, complaining about the “panzification of America,” and cheering somebody on when they talk about bashing somebody’s head into a wall until he’s unconscious, is just a short step away from gay-bashing.
I’m not being defensive. Nor am I saying that all homosexual males are bathroom gropers. However, it is not unresonable to assume that those that do grope in the bathroom are homosexual, so perhaps a modifier is in order.
If he had said “What is it with some gay guys and groping?” would that have gotten you so would up? I’m sure that what he meant. If he didn’t, well then, I’m in full agreement that he’s a jerk. But for whatever reason you guys always assume the worst from people instead of giving them the benefit of the doubt, and I find that strange because outside of a homosexual-oriented website you’ll never find a place more friendly to you than here.
Diogenes and mhendo explained it quite well without resorting to vitriol. Maybe you should try it once or twice.
Airman: he was quoting a rather bigoted implication by flickster that us homos all like to cruise in bathrooms. He wasn’t calling stereotype on the suggestion that the guy who grabbed the OPs junk was gay (cuz chances are, the guy was) - he was peeved at the idea that queers are always hanging around bathrooms looking for sex. Despite the way our Mockingbird sometimes goes of half-cocked, I don’t think most people would say he was wrong in this instance. Flickster, what the fuck would make you say such a titanically stupid thing like that?
sooooo hanging around in bathrooms isn’t a good place to meet guys?
Anyway, I had a similar discussion with some teammates when the Bertuzzi incident happened (Hockey). I was saying that Bertuzzi should be banned for years if not life. Their response was that in the heat of battle, grown men can’t be expected to control themselves. That just scared me.
It’s the same thing here. Someone grabbed another’s package and the guy went ballistic. Unacceptable.
If that happened to me, I would grab his hand, turn around and clock the guy. Anything more than that is completely unwarranted, provided the attacker withdraws. If I then go pick the guy up and hit him again, or start boot stomping him or running his head into urinals, that is assault as far as I can see.
Sheesh, guys, can you keep the slap-and-tickle to a minimum? We have bathrooms here if you need to work off sexual tension. 
Sol, he misread something. Given Mockingbird’s style, it wouldn’t shock me if some dopers made assumptions. Airman, Don’t take it personally. Sol’s dragging a lot of stuff that’s not related to you into his reply, and when he calms down he’ll realize that. I’m ok, you’re ok. Deep cleansing breaths.
Can I use you as my translator from now on?
I thought I was presenting a clear sentence and it took you to get Airman to comprehend it.
Madeline Albright, I adore thee.
For a straight guy. you sure like getting on people’s asses.
As you have a problem with reading comprehension as well as trying to dictate etiquette from Emily Post, why don’t you just sit there quietly like a little boy while the grown-ups talk.
Come on, guys, Airman’s alright, he just misunderstood something. I didn’t see any malice in it. He just misread what was being called a stereotype and thought he was responding to an over-sensitive reaction. There’s no reason to pile up on him.
Next time buy me a beer first, you pervert! Yeah, I was pretty mellow, but at least my reflexes were there. This is easily a personal record for most replies to a post, and in less than a day. I am thoroughly enjoying all of the responses. I will attempt to reply to some of the comments.
“why didn’t you just pee on him? Afraid he might like it?” (Fiona Orange).
He probably would have, but the poor sap cleaning the privy would suffer the most.
“You could have just ignored it and seen where things went–worst that could’ve happened is a hand-job, eh?” (Metacom)
Funny. But the worst thing could have been that he could rip it completely off of me. Same goes for all of you who say it is no worse than getting pinched in the ass. My ass is a lot more durable than the hose. Actually it’s pretty firm. It gets slapped and pinched a lot. Buy me a beer and I may let you grab it. I would consider grabbing the dick is a more serious threat. Maybe not worthy of knocking someone unconscience, but worthy of a few broken fingers or nose.
“If I had time to play Secret Service to my little ‘VIP’, then a down-and-out beating may not be in order. But if said VIP has been grabbed, all bets are off.” (Brutus).
Luckily, I stopped it in time. I would not blame someone for “bustin a nut” over this, but in the split-second moment it happens, insticts play out.
“In response to the OP, I would hope you immediately had the perv kicked out of the bar and hopefully permanently banned.” (Eleusis)
Had the bar only been moderately crowded, I may have considered it. Being unsafely crowded for dollar beer nite, the staff was quite buzy.
The Beverly Hillbillies are on TV. Later
If you are minding your own business and someone reaches from behind you and attempts to grope you, you have all the right in the world to fight back.
And it might be nice to say, “Hey, why didn’t you just ask him?” But if the other peson is intent on doing you harm, taking that much time may be all he needs to get a grip on you such that you are now helpless.
As for whether the guy’s head needed to be smashed over and over again, well, that’s a judgement call, and that’s what cops and courts are for. The law states that you have a right to defend yourself with commensurate force. What constitutes commensurate force depends on a whole lot of things. For instance, the law can and has upheld the right of a woman to shoot an unarmed assailant dead if it was clear that the assailant was attemping grievous harm. On the other hand, people have been convicted of manslaughter for killing other people with their bare hands. It’s all about who was bigger, whether it was clear that lives were in danger, etc.
But I’ll tell you - the people who fight ‘fair’ and give their assailants chances and all that honorable stuff are the ones who generally wind up being hurt badly. I watched a ‘fair fight’ one time in which a guy was attacked, and he put his attacker on the ground with a couple of solid punches. Then, he stood over him and said, “Had enough? I don’t want to hurt you.”. The bad guy nodded that he’d had enough, and the hero turned around and started walking away. The bad guy got up, took a run at him, and put both boots into the small of the good guy’s back - breaking his spine. Put him in a wheelchair.
Do everything you can to avoid confrontation. Never fight someone unnecessarily. But if you find yourself in a fight, assume that you are in serious danger and act accordingly. That means either running like hell if you can, or subduing your opponent so he can no longer fight you. This nonsense about hitting someone once and then stepping back to be ‘fair’ is idiocy. All you’ve done is re-open an engagement with someone who is now REALLY mad.
Dad would have looked pretty silly had he grabbed the guy, hit him once, and then let him go - only to find himself staring at a knife. In this case, it may have been a case of mistaken intentions, but sorry - Dad had no way to know, and anyone who tries to grope a stranger is the one putting himself in danger.
The people here who are shocked at Dad’s behaviour (even more the explanatory paragraph) simply don’t understand self defense and what it entails.
I doubt Shagnasty’s dad had his reaction mapped out before hand. It’s all very well calling him on the force used from the safety and comfort of sitting in front of your P.C. but he was acting under the influence of shock, fear and adrenalin surge.
Some of you guys need to put aside the pretention that you are all so cold and logical. I bet there’s many a situation where you too would lose your “Mr Spock” like front and just react.
There’s a word for people like Shagnasty’s dad.
Survivor.