Damn it! Post #4 even. 
Oh, okay. I missed that, and I apologize.
I am glad to hear you don’t view your son as a burden. It sounded like you were complaining when you said “EVERY weekend”, but perhaps you were boasting a bit that you were going above the norm, and I misread your tone.
No better way to teach them that they are the center of the universe, and that the entire world should cater to them, and that their desires come before everything else.
Whole lot of assuming going on, Sparky. I suggest you go back and read this thread from beginning to end.
What’s the view like up on that pedestal? Never made any mistakes yourself? Didn’t think so. One action/mistake does not define a person or, in this case, their parenting.
Frank, okay, maybe I should clarify. I don’t mean in terms of mental and/or physical (or whatever) wellbeing being compromised. I am saying that in terms of this exact case, this thread, romantic relationships should probably wait if time from your kids will be missed. That’s all.
I don’t know what SHAKES’ situation is vis-a-vis his ex is, but picking the kid up for visitation and leaving him with a sitter is not permitted under some people’s visitation orders (assuming that SHAKES has an order, and not an informal arrangement between him and his son’s mother). Some people have orders which specifically state that if the non-custodial parent is going to be unavailable for any part of the visitation period, the custodial parent gets first dibs on watching the child. Either way – by skipping the visit (and possibly disrupting plans which the child’s mother may have had for the weekend) or by engaging a babysitter – SHAKES is taking a chance on stirring up trouble with his son’s mother by dating on the weekend.
In any event, SHAKES, better luck next time. (No, I am not being sarcastic.)
I am truly unsure about my feelings regarding SHAKES’ decision to pass up his visitation for the week in favor of a dating opportunity, but this (Liberal’s idea) is truly ill-advised. First of all, a little kid does not need to meet his father’s casual dates. It gives the child a sense of insecurity and impermanence in relationships. Second of all, a little kid does NOT get to express an opinion about his father’s romantic life (at least, he/she should not be solicited to do so), as it puts the kid in a position of feeling like he/she has veto power – which should not be true unless the date is a physical or emotional danger to the child.
There was a thread a while back in which a woman was expressing doubts about marrying a guy who had kids from a previous marriage. What prompted this was not the existence of the kids, or any particular issue with them personally, but his statement, “You will always come second.” Not, “The kids come first,” but “You will always be second.”
And she got a lot of replies to the effect of “Congratulations! You’ve got a guy with his priorities in order!” and a lot of jumping to the conclusion that she hated the idea of having any kids around that weren’t hers. One person with a blended family did say, though, “Nobody should come second. Sometimes the kids come first. Sometimes my spouse comes first. And sometimes I come first. But nobody’s second.”
Just saying, is all.
That’s what happens when you’re running around like a chicken with… well, you know. 
Oh come on. Seriously? He canceled plans with his son so he could go on a date. It doesn’t make him father of the year, but it hardly makes him a bad parent.
Is he never supposed to make plans on the weekend that don’t involve his son?
Uhm if he only sees his son on the weekends, then NO he’s not supposed to make plans when he’s supposed to be seeing his son. Especially not just off the cuff plans with some chick he hooked up with a few days ago. Its not as if he blew off his son to take his fiance out to dinner.
I’m not trashing the guy, we’ve all made bad calls as parents. Its part of being a parent. But when you are divorced and only see your son on the weekends then you need to devote your weekend to your son. Its not fair maybe but at the same time what’s even more unfair is that the son only gets to see his father on the weekends.
The needs of the child outweigh the frivoulos needs of the parent. Its the fact that he barely knew the woman that made it wrong.
I think you may be misunderstanding here. Whenever I make plans, I have to consider my kids first. That just means that, if I’m invited to a party, I can’t commit until I’ve found a babysitter. If I can’t find a babysitter, I don’t go out.
Considering your kids before making plans (ie. “first”) doesn’t mean they get what they want all the time, or that everyone else needs to play second fiddle.
I’m still perplexed as to why the OP needed to scrap an entire weekend with his son for a date that would last a few hours.
That seemed weird to me too.
It’s not “frivolous” in the least, though. Having a normal social life is not only better for SHAKES, it’s better for his kid.
Right and seeing how normal it turned out is really bolstering your argument.
I don’t see anything the least bit abnormal about. SHAKES got jerked around by someone. Now he’s annoyed.
Where’s the thread that Dio and Lib are reading? I want to dump on that guy, too.
That guy is in the hypothetical thread, saying he wouldn’t do anything to save his child.
Embryos before hos.
Oh my god, don’t let NRL get ahold of this.
I guess my moral compass is 180 degrees out from yours. It would be wrong for him to blow off his son to take his fiance out to dinner, because that is a known, established relationship which needs to fit within the confines of his weekend’s with the son.
A new chick he just met falls into an “unexpected” area, and a change of plans, IMHO, is not at all out of order for a divorced parent to find a new love interest.
As far as cancelling the whole weekend for the sake of a few hours, that wasn’t Shakes’ deal. I’m sure if it was up to him, he would just be getting home about now (Sunday P.M.). 