Yeah, I mean if you don’t care that you’re getting your load off with a woman who actually isn’t interested or enjoying it but relented because you have persistence and wore her down, then yes, it works. I think sex with willing partners is the most fun, but I suppose I’ve never experienced the other kind. I’ll take your word for it.
I thought you were joking at first, but oh my god, you’re serious.
You dodged a bullet with her.
I speak as an observer, not a participant.
MOL, I do not think you did anything wrong. No means no, and it is 100% on him.
However, the moment you invited him into your home (the green light), decision-making moved from his head to his other head (the Decision Interest Center and Knowledgebase - AKA D.I.C.K). 
Wow, this is the point it should have been “Get the fuck out now, or I won’t be calling a cab, I’ll be calling the cops.” Serious douchebag. And I thought you were supposed to be mean? 
Wow, she does not wish to sleep with this particular guy, and you conclude she’s a “no sex before marriage” type?
Nonsense, this guy totally understands that message. Of course, I’m also the clueless type.
Would it have killed you to give him a handy?
Right?! Silly girl, everybody knows that men are incapable of controlling themselves ones a little blood flows to their penis! All rational decision making is out the door! Poor guy just couldn’t help it! It was beyond his control, ya know?
Seriously, how men don’t get more pissed about statements like the quoted text is beyond me. This is the male equivalent of the old, “Oh, she’s on her period, she can’t control her emotions!” dismissive sexism nonsense. Or the bumbling, helpless dad meme in so many commercials.
Yeah, I was way too nice to him. The very first move he put on me should have been responded to with “Get out. Weather be damned. I don’t care about your comfort anymore.” But you know, it’s one of those things where you’re trying to be nice to someone, then in hindsight you realize “Fuck nice.”
You got me! I should not have worn my seduction socks.
I know, right? How can anyone possibly tell what a woman wants? By listening to her? She said no, but what does she really mean? Women speak in such mysterious code!
Exactly this. Playing hard to get is making someone wait for a kiss, flirting a lot without giving a definitive sign of interest, or something like that. Saying no repeatedly isn’t “hard to get.” It’s a no. No means no, for fuck’s sake.
Even if you are the kind of clown who will try something after being very explicitly told that it ain’t going down, how many times would you need to be very clearly refused before you stop? If the answer is more than once, I have some cyanide that you might find useful.
What? Somebody said no and then you stopped? What kind of man are you?!
I wouldn’t defend his behavior in either case, but I would’ve at least understood his having the wrong impression at first – except MOL said she painstakingly prepped him beforehand not to expect anything. Doesn’t sound like there was any possibility of mixed signals. Guy was a moron. No, a MORAN.
He sounds like a dick. Good riddance.
Fickle bitch.
Bolding mine. I don’t think anyone’s denying that. Certainly, not me.
However, the whole “playing hard to get” thing is a bit ambiguous.
In other words, making someone “wait” for a kiss is implying a “No.” So, I guess men should just stop any and all attempts right then and there.
I mean why is it okay for women to play hard to get, but when men are persistent there is a problem? I get there’s varying degree’s to this but certainly you can see how these things can be confusing.
The still single kind 
Right. I’ve ignored the posts about mixed signals because they’re irritatingly stupid. Again, I get that an invitation to someone’s apt is generally a sign of interest. Generally. But when someone takes the time to point out that while this is often the understanding, this is very much capital-N Not happening now, I’m not interested, and I’m only inviting you in because I’d rather you not stand in the rain without an umbrella for 15 min, it should be clear that nothing’s happening. It’s like, dude, I just figured the nice thing to do is to let you hang in a dry apt while you wait, then you have to get out. He said he understood and thanked me for the kindness.
Easy peasy lemon squeezy, right? WRONG! Get a brain, morans!
We’re not talking about an implied no here. We’re talking about an explicit no. When someone explicitly says no, then yes, you should just stop any and all attempts right then and there. If you have further questions, let me know. Thanks!
Because when you are persistent in the face of an actual “no”, things get less ambiguous and a lot more rapey. I get how there’s varying degrees to “no”, like “No, thank you”, “No, please leave”, “No, like I said before”, and “No, get the fuck out you persistent asshole”, but sometimes you just need to take “no” at face value and not presume that she’s playing hard to get.
The difference between a “no” and “playing hard to get” is that when someone is playing hard to get, and you leave, they come after you, not that they give it up in the face of unrelenting pressure.
We’re on a date, it’s going awesome. You walk me to my car, we say our goodbyes, hug, and you reach in for a mouth on mouth kiss. I turn my head at the last second so you only get a peck on the cheek. I say, “Don’t get me wrong, you’re awesome and I had the BEST time, but I don’t kiss on the first date or two. Maybe if we go out again ;).”
That’s playing coy. Hard to get. Wanting to be chased. Whatever you want to call it.
Let’s say we’re on a second or third date, watching a movie on your couch or at my place. We’re snuggling. We’re kissing. We’re doing all that cutesie shit. I pause and say, “Look, I just want to be upfront: I’m totally down for snuggling and kissing, but I’m not looking to have sex tonight.” One of two things can happen now. Either you can agree and be a decent human being, which leads to many more hours of snuggling and kissing and enjoying each other’s company, but no sex. Or you can be that douchebag who then spends the next two hours trying to direct my hand to your erection.
That scenario? That’s not playing hard to get. That’s not being coy or wanting you to convince me to fuck you. That’s me directly telling you-- using my grown up words-- what I want. If you choose to ignore that and not respect me enough to honor my wishes, you’re kind of the worst.
Protip: the first guy usually gets laid on the next date— the second doesn’t even get another date.
Good points. I guess it’s not really that ambiguous.
Diosa you said you weren’t going to tell everyone about our date last weekend.
Wow, you must be a smokin hot old lady.
Not only did you NOT give mixed signals, you preemptively said NO before the subject came up. And yet…he still couldn’t resist your charms.
I am in awe of you. Is this a gift you were born with, or did you develop it over years of experience with horny men?
ladyfoxfyre, maybe if you’d stop trying to push my head down to your crotch while we’re trying to watch Star Wars I wouldn’t have to put you on blast.