The only appropriate unit of measurement for penises is the Rod.
Had mine measured for me, once upon a time. Sweet lass, she was. She must’ve been satisfied with her findings, too, as she continued her experiments with the subject in question for several months afterward. 
Gagging sounds.
Mine is 1 AU. That’s an Astronomical Unit*.
*That’s what she said!
Ebay bids.
I tried once but after three years of non-stop measuring I got bored.
Serious answer: about 14 feet.
“Enormous Penis” by Da Vinci’s Notebook pretty much describes me.
Centimeters, tdn and the final measurement is length times girth divided by 4.0! 
Q
Boards broken.
The sea-bottom at the river-mouth, surely. Once you get past the silt layer, I guess it must be, otherwise it would be mud not sand, wouldn’t it?
But Mr. Fantastic’s won’t break off or get all limp after repeated use.
No, no, you misunderstand. The bottom’s name is Sandy. And he uses a tacheometer.
Ah, thanks. I didn’t get the math right the first time. So let’s do this again.
Length L, times Girth G, carry the one, divide by one comes out to be the same thing, then divide by constant 4.0, with a remainder R, round off the the nearest decimal place, = Frickin’ Huuuuge.
Math is so sexy.
Huh. I always wondered why Sue Storm was always drawn smiling… :smack:
Time in solving a Rubic’s cube.
Nah, I never bothered to. What does it matter how big it is? It’s not like I ever use it.
:: tries to think of joke involving dwarf planets and Uranus, fails ::
The last is the only one that makes any sense, as it is the only one that can comfortably wrap around the penis to measure girth.
Men obsess about length, but what I’ve heard women praise is thickness. The average vagina comfortably holds the average penis. From the porn I’ve seen (and I’ve seen a lot) the poor schmoes who have extra-long penises (peni?) can never fit them all the way into even the most experienced porn starlet’s vagina. Ron Jeremy and John Holmes both had to refrain from plunging deeply, often holding their hand around the base. Only when engaging in anal sex, or with the exceptionally talented deep throat artist like Little Oral Annie, can they experience the sensation of going all the way in. I don’t have the cite, but I recall the average depth of a vagina is roughly 6", which matches the average penis length of just under 6".
My penis once divided itself by zero.