The days of Get Smart,
Would you believe they’re over?
Missed 'em by that much.
Missed 'em by that much
Sorry 'bout that, Chief, now to
The Cone of Silence
The Cone of Silence –
It never worked correctly,
A huge boondoggle.
-“BB”-
A huge boondoggle
Does not attract the ladies
As you think it might.
As you think it might
be, no boondoggles 'round here;
any in Blawnox?
Annie, in Blawnox,
wanders, searching for evil
doggles, not boon ones.
Doggles, not boon ones,
Might be canine scuba gear.
Sounds crazy, don’t it?
Sounds crazy, don’t it?
And yet California says
Bumblebees are fish.
Bumblebees are fish
and cats are reptiles, boom!
So says nutty judge.
So says nutty judge,
but he’s a complete pillock.
Best to ignore him.
“Best to ignore him”
What they said about the bee
And then it stung me
And then it stung me
(just like Ebert’s worst review).
Hollywood? I’m gone!
Hollywood, I’m gone!
(What I said to the judge of
Great British Bake-Off)
Great British Bake-Off?
Sadly lacking in sushi;
no tacos either!
NO TACOS! Either
Linguini or lasagna
This ain’t Taco Bell
This ain’t Taco Bell
Or Starbucks; it’'s Grandma’s house.
Now wash the dishes.
Now wash the dishes
and then vacuum everywhere,
or… I’ll sing to you!
Or i’ll sing “to you” -
a little known song by Bach.
(I just made that up !)
I just made that up:
There is no Krampus and there
Never was…OH, NO!
Never was…OH, NO!
I just imagined a world
with no stoats. Ye gods!