Haiku Madness Part Deux

To tell you the truth
I’m eating as I write this.
Mmmm potatoes rock.

Mmm potatoes rock
It’s my secret recipe
All my guests say “mmm”

mmm

All my guests say “mmm”
"Mmm-mmm. This is better than
Mom’s. Please don’t tell her.

Moms, please don’t tell her
We’re a same-sex family.
She’s Republican.

She’s Republican,
but she’s a never-Trumper,
which is fine with me.

Witch is fine with me,
Or neopagan, wiccan . . .
As long as you smile.

As long as you smile
while you’re stealing their wallet,
no one will notice.

No one will notice
When I wear my ham undies
But they fit so well

But they fit so well
In my mouth, all these pool balls –
Just play without them.

Just play without them,
They’re going to come later.
Don’t ask why they’re late.

Don’t ask why they’re late;
they’re never gonna tell you.
They like their secrets.

They like their secrets
Women named Victoria
Acting all hush-hush

Acting all hush-hush
at the Silent Theatre;
that’s kind of the point.

That’s kind of “The Point:”
It’s Nilsson’s songs, but no one
Has a cone-shaped head.

Has a cone-shaped head,
Eats your berries off the vine -
The tufted titmouse!

The tufted titmouse
looks quite a bit, I think, like
a blue cardinal

A blue cardinal
Was happy to get some seeds
I named him Jose

I named him Jose
(but he wasn’t blue at all),
and we became friends!

I named him Jose
Because he always hums the
Star Spangled Banner.

Star-Spangled Banner?
U.S. national anthem;
rather hard to sing