Haiku Madness Part Deux

Down a narrow street
Is where you’ll find something that’s
Right up your alley.

Right up your alley
I tried for a perfect strike
But left a big split.

-“BB”-

But left a big split
In my pants when I stooped to
Reach for that penny

Reach for that penny.
You may find a dime under.
Not a fortune (shrug).

Not a fortune (shrug)
nor yet a mere pittance (frown)
is what you’ll earn (nod).

Is what you’ll earn (nod)
if you work all night (yawn): a
Penny for your thoughts

Penny, for your thoughts
I’d rather talk to Dr.
Smith or the Robot.

“Smith or the robot.”
The casting director gave
No other options.

-BB"-

No other options
It’s do or die, sink or swim
Put up or shut up

“Put up or shut up”:
poker advice, or a threat?
Need ace up my sleeve.

Need ace up my sleeve -
Or pockets. Why don’t I have
Sufficient pockets?

Sufficient pockets?
You mean like that TV guy
Captain Kangaroo?

Captain Kangaroo?
He is neither a captain
Nor a kangaroo.

Nor a kangaroo,
Nor a soaring red-tailed hawk
Will dig like a dog.

Will dig like a dog,
But deeper, with more damage?
Danged armadillos.

Danged armadillos!
If I hated them much more,
I’d really damn them.

I’d really damn them
If I hated socks with holes;
Instead, I darn them.

Instead, I darn them.
You may reweave them if that
Puffs your hipsterness.

“Puffs,” your hipsterness
Tissues for your nose. Really?
I just use my sleeve.

I just use my sleeve
To wipe my nose, of course, and
To wipe other parts