Because she lives there
I can say with certainty
She doesn’t live here.
She doesn’t live here -
just like Alice, in that film
which I never saw
which I never saw
and which I’ve never hammer
(I suck at tool talk)
“I suck at tool talk.”
Why Pam Anderson was fired
From “Home Improvement.”
From home improvement
To owning construction co.:
A sharp learning curve.
A Sharp learning curve
Is high. It’s hard to hit that
High note with my voice
High note with my voice
ain’t gonna sound all that great;
best hire someone else
Best hire someone else
To fly your jet airliners;
I’m a stewardess
I’m a stewardess?
Please! The correct term is now
‘Cabin attendant’.
-“BB”-
Cabin attendant,
Where were you when demons killed
All those young people?
All those young people
You keep saying are lazy?
They’re keeping you fed.
They’re keeping you fed?
Do you get the food you want,
or is it nasty?
Or is it nasty
To eat peas using your toes?
It makes it more fun.
It makes it more fun,
I suppose, but with honey,
those peas go nowhere.
Those peas go nowhere
They flunked the breathalyzer
Throw 'em in the can
Throw ‘em in the can,
then get out the rubber hose;
time for a wee chat.
Time for a wee chat
O’er a bot’le o’ Scotch.
Not too much, Scotty.
Not too much Scotty,
Just midrange impulse power.
I need my coffee.
I need my coffee?
Not if you’re Jean-Luc Picard.
It’s tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
-“BB”-
It’s tea, Earl; grey, hot
And no, I do not know why
My freakin’ tea’s grey