Find it in the store?
They use invisible signs!
Pisses me off, man.
Pisses me off, man.
All this, you know, posturing.
Pass the doobie, Bro.
Pass the doobie, Bro
And that Doobie Bro’s album
Where’s the joint sisters?
Where’s the Joint Sisters?
Dating the Tendon Brothers,
or so I’ve been told.
Or so I’ve been told.
I don’t really know, but I
Take it all on faith.
Take it all on faith?
Hell, no - I want evidence!
That’s just how I am.
That’s just how I am
You cops got nothin’ on me!
Bother someone else
Bother someone else,
like that gross dude over there.
Yeah, him! That’s the one.
Yeah, him! That’s the one
Who’s going to wash dishes.
He wouldn’t help cook.
He wouldn’t help cook
The books, so that CPA
Is out of a job
Is “out of a job”
The same thing as retiring?
No, it’s not, Brian.
No, it’s not Brian
It’s Brain and it’s in your head
Use it for thought stuff
Use it for thought stuff,
like, y’know, cogitation.
You’ll be glad you did!
You’ll be glad you did!
Sign up for my newsletter!
All the cool kids are
All the cool kids are
Writing haiku nowadays -
It’s the latest thing!
It’s the latest thing!
That’s right, haiku is hip now;
it’s why we’re so cool.
It’s why we’re so cool -
We’re heating the neighborhood!
Close the goddamn door!
Close the goddam door
Were you brought up in a barn?
Mother used to say
Mother used to say,
“I can tell you drank soda.
Your sweat is sticky.”
Your sweat is sticky
I don’t even want to know
About your urine