About your urine -
If it attracts bumblebees,
You’re diabetic.
You’re diabetic
You have, as Wilford Brimley
Says, diabeetus
Says “diabeetus”
but really should know better,
that ol’ Brimley guy.
That ol’ Brimley guy.
Wilford looked old for his age.
Some bad genetics
Some bad genetics,
That’s how we got chihuahuas.
Evil little dogs
Evil little dogs?
Not if you get to know them;
they’re really quite sweet.
They’re really quite sweet,
These candied jalapenos.
Would you like a bite?
Would you like a bite?
All I have to offer is
Some expired yogurt
Some expired yogurt
is what I offered my date,
and then she was gone.
And then she was gone.
Done scratched gravel and moseyed -
Wandered down the road.
Wandered down the road,
got a lift from a cute girl…
you can guess the rest.
“You can guess the rest,”
Said Pat Sajak, “Or you can
Buy a vowel or two.”
Pronouncing ‘vowel’ as a one-syllable word, eh? OK…
“Buy a vowel or two?
Aye,” said the pirate. “And I’d
Like to buy an eye.”
-“BB”-
Like to buy an eye
Glass, please, I don’t have enough
Money for a pair
Money for a pair?
Jacks or better to open.
I’m going to fold
I’m going to fold
The damned laundry 'cuz it ain’t
Gonna fold itself
Gonna fold itself?
Or you think this poker hand
Will net me big bucks?
Will net me big bucks
with my fishing net, scrape
coins out of a well
coins out of a well
ain’t gonna pay all my bills
but it’s a good start
But it’s a good start
to your day: shower and dress,
juice, then off to work!