Haiku Madness Part Deux

The Room with Oatmeal -
A lesser-known still life by
The great Paul Cézanne

The great Paul Cézanne
Was known for doing some stuff
Some really big stuff

Some really big stuff
In the long run impacts less
Than some little stuff.

Than some little stuff
No…it’s then some little stuff
Did something, I guess

Did something, I guess,
to craft a Doper haiku;
that’s what this thread’s for!

That’s what this thread’s for
To fix that hole in your pants
Oops, guess we’re too late

Oops - guess we’re too late
To vote for Eisenhower.
Wait - what year is it?

Wait - what year is it?
Does the year start with nineteen?
No? Get off my lawn.

No “get off my lawn”
Is going to stop me from
Retrieving my ball

Retrieving my ball
Was never too difficult.
I always bunted.

I always bunted.
Or was that punted? Which one
Is a football choice?

Is a football choice
always going to involve
sweat and violence?

Sweat and violence.
Must be election season
again. Kamala!

Again: Kamala!
She’s now Vice President, but
would like the top job

Would, like, the “top” job
Be somebody who works in
Gay BDSM?

Gay BDSM?
Let’s make the safe word haiku.
That way it’s classy.

That way it’s classy;
The other way is smutty.
Guess where I’m going?

Guess where I’m going?
I bet you can - you’re quite smart:
It’s Blawnox, of course!

It’s Blawnox, of course!
Home of Rick’s Barber, Moondogs,
And Afghan Kebab

And Afghan Kebab?
Why don’t you eat what you have
Before you buy more?