My dog can’t blow it;
his skills are quite amazing
at the free throw line
At the free throw line
I got nervous, hence my end-
less ball handling
Less ball-handling
Fees, the cost of my massage
Was quite a good deal.
Was “quite a good deal”
the secret “art” from
The Grifter’s bible?
The Grifter’s bible
Ain’t found in any hotel
I’ve ever stayed in
I’ve ever stayed in
Holiday Inns, all the time;
just too damn classy
Just too damn classy
Dude, that pretty much sums up
Why I hated school
Why I hated school?
All those rules, regulations:
I gotta be me!
I gotta be me
I can’t be anyone else
They’re already them
They’re already Them!-
Those ants grew to monstrous size.
Killed James Whitmore, too.
Edit: for syllable count 
Killed James Whitmore, too,
before being tamed by those
sparrows in moonlight
Sparrows in moonlight
Enough with them already!
They’re just not that cool
They’re just not that cool
So stop using sunbeds as
Refrigerators.
Refrigerators.
Where would we be without 'em?
Eating rotten food?
Eating rotten food?
Well, he is a dog. So that’s
Just the way things go.
Just the way things go.
Fish gotta swim and those birds
Attach for Hitchcock.
Attach for Hitchcock
They were connected to him
like Yoda, says I
Doh!
Didn’t see the typo.
Like Yoda says, I
Have a ways to go to be
A Jedi master
A Jedi Master
Is like a Thighmaster, but
It requires more Force.