Haiku Madness Part Deux

I loves it, I do!
But not like Winnie-the-Pooh
That silly old bear

That silly old bear
Came down the stairs, bump, bump, bump,
Behind Christopher.

Behind Christopher
There’s a child on his shoulder.
Too bad they ditched him.

“Too bad they ditched him,”
said the weary detective,
slumping in his chair

Slumping in his chair
He caused an indignant yowl
From the cat behind.

From the cat behind
came a series of foul toots;
better change his food

“Better change his food”
Said my doctor to my wife
“'cause he’s a lardass”

'Cause he’s a lardass
I never buy him donuts
despite his begging

despite his begging
I won’t give my dog some cheese
Sigh, OK I will

Sigh, OK I will
Have another slice of that
Homemade apple pie

Homemade apple pie
Isn’t worth a damn without
A glob of whipped cream

-“BB”-

A glob of whipped cream
is much enjoyed by those damn
sparrows in moonlight

Sparrows in moonlight
shit all over my terrace.
E_H! Clean it up!

E_H! Clean it up!
What a sloppy person, that
Ernest Hemingway

Ernest Hemingway:
Now THERE was a real author.
And he wrote good too

And he wrote “good” too
Often where he meant “well”, but
At least he meant well.

At least he meant well,
unlike the folks who trot out
‘sparrows in moonlight’

Sparrows in moonlight?
Forever banned, says Haiku
Madness inventor

Madness inventor
Wins top prize at annual
Mad Scientist Con.

Mad Scientist con
Invented a new death ray
To escape prison.