Haiku Madness Part Deux

Would make me famous,
Or perhaps a great failure –
Could go either way

Could go either way
My lunch choices: a salad
Or seven donuts

Or seven donuts,
or eight or even fourteen?
Bad for my diet!

“Bad for my diet!”
Is all I ever hear, but
I need a milkshake!

I need a milkshake!
But I want one that has milk
Like they used to be.

Like they used to be,
before they were pooped in by
sparrows in moonlight

Sparrows in moonlight
Their murmurations echo
Unlike a duck’s quack

Unlike a duck’s quack,
Sparrows in moonlight echo
Ducks, well, they just quack

Ducks, well, they just quack,
which is hardly surprising,
as they lack trombones.

As they lack trombones,
76 musicians
Won’t lead the parade.

Won’t lead the parade
Does that make me a loser?
There’s no shame in that

There’s no shame in that,
just like a war-plans group chat;
did they include you?

Did they include you?
They left me out so often
I stopped wanting in.

I stopped wanting in,
until I found the back door;
now, I’ll never leave

Now I’ll never leave
You, since you’ve learned how to make
Southern fried chicken

Southern Fried chicken
is yummy yummy yummy
What a lame haiku

What a lame haiku!
Worse than having a lame horse.
You can shoot the horse.

You can shoot the horse
Or can shoot the messenger
Don’t you dare shoot me!

Don’t you dare shoot me!
I’m only the piano
player! Remember?

Player! Remember?
You’re not the piano, dude.
You tinkle the keys.