Going commando
Can be so unfortunate
With the wrong zipper.
With the wrong zipper
Getting your child’s coat unzipped
Can be a nightmare.
Can: be a nightmare
Ziploc bag: a nightmare, too;
where should I store food?
where should I store food?
There’s one place I can think of
That’s in my belly
“That’s in my belly”
I said to the gang searching
For the Hershey Kiss
For the Hershey kiss,
you must very politely
ask young Miss Hershey.
Ask young Miss Hershey
What she thought of Last Summer
And the seagull scene.
And the seagull scene
Turned into nothing but a
French fry massacre
French fry massacre
And pizza catastrophe:
Teenagers for lunch.
Teenagers for lunch?
They’re too gamey for my taste.
Toddlers are tender.
Toddlers are tender?
You must not have met Travis.
A fucking nightmare.
A fucking nightmare:
I dreampt of really bad sex
With – I won’t name him.
With - I won’t name him
But his skin’s orange, his hair?
Cotton candy piss
Cotton candy piss:
what you get when you over-
eat junk at the fair
Eat junk at the fair.
Try the fried butter sticks, then
Watch the racing pigs.
Watch the racing pigs
They’ll crash into your groin, you’ll
Have pork tenderloin
Have pork tenderloin
The farm’s local, pasture-raised
The flavor is grand.
The flavor is grand?
You mean, costs a thousand bucks?
I can’t afford that
I can’t afford that!
But my flipphone’s broken so
I’ll buy the iPhone.
-“BB”-
I’ll buy the iPhone
As soon as it is released.
I have phone FOMO.