Haiku Madness Part Deux

I have phone FOMO
(“Frank’s Obvious; Matt’s O.D.'d”),
which just makes no sense.

“Which” just makes no sense.
“Who”, maybe; or even “where”
Would work much better.

Would work much better
if I were paid lots, lots more:
say, $18 billion?

Say, $18 billion?
Will that be enough for your
first three months of rent?

First three months of rent
is more than I want to pay -
right now, anyway

Right now. Any way
you can possibly do it.
It is urgent. Now!

It is urgent. Now!
If I don’t pee I will burst!
Wouldn’t that be cool?

Wouldn’t that be cool?
Dude, it would be the greatest,
And I’ll hold your beer!

And I’ll hold your beer
while you proceed to show us
what a fool you are

What a fool you are!
And what a fool you make me!
Let’s fool together.

Let’s fool together,
as it’s surely better than
just fooling apart

Just fooling, apart
From my red rubber ball nose
You wouldn’t have known

You wouldn’t have known
If I had not shared my plan:
World Domination!

World domination
has been my goal all along;
I’m starting small, here

I’m starting small, here
Take this dime and invest it
With minimum risk

With minimum risk
Comes minimum reward, or
So they’d have tiy think

*you

Was so busy counting syllables, I forgot to check spelling.

So they’d have you think
Haiku Gods insist on both
Spelling and word count

Spelling and word count
Are fun games for some of us.
Not so for others.

Not so for others,
for whom 5-7-5 is
just too limiting