Haiku Madness Part Deux

“Was old davenport.”
Dad said that’s where I was born.
“Wait, that’s where conceived.”

“Wait, that’s where conceived.”?
Why make first line difficult?
We’re just here for fun

We’re just here for fun?
Or for a haiku challenge?
Dude, it’s dealer’s choice

“Dude, it’s dealer’s choice.”
So I walked away from there.
Not playing that game.

[ETA and out of game: except that obviously I’m playing this one . . . ]

Not playing that game
Where you toss a deck of cards
And say pick 'em up

…And say, “pick 'em up!”
That’s how I instruct my kids
To pick up their toys!

To pick up their toys
I have long ordered my kids -
and sometimes they do!

“…and sometimes they do!”
Was what made me lose faith in
the puppy trainer

the puppy trainer
Had dog themed shoes on his feet
They’re puppy trainers

They’re puppy trainers.
Don’t trust them to be able
To train your old dog.

To train your old dog
You’d better use his old tricks
He don’t like new ones

He don’t like new ones,
he prefers them well-ripened.
Brown fruit is softer.

Brown fruit is softer
but brown bananas belong
in banana bread.

In banana bread
You do expect bananas.
But not hot peppers!

But not-hot peppers?
We just call them mild peppers
Leastways 'round these parts

Leastways ‘round these parts

There is no thriving night life.

We treasure our sleep.

We treasure our sleep.
So why am I posting now,
not going to bed?

Not going to bed
is a bad habit I’ve had
since I was a kid

Since I was a kid
Mom would never let me have
Whiskey for breakfast

Whiskey for breakfast.
The breakfast of champions!
I’m no champion.