Haiku Madness Part Deux

Doesn’t it look weird?
I never know when to use
who or whom. Whom does?

Who or whom. Whom does?
Pronoun trouble gets me down
So just shoot me now

So just shoot me now
I did my hair and face, I’m
Prepped for my close-up

Prepped for my close-up,
I told the director that
Tom Cruise, I was not.

Tom Cruise, I was not
My Mission Impossible
To find my lost socks

To find my lost socks
I enlisted the aid of
A sock-sniffing pup

A sock-sniffing pup
Is a warning sign, because
Pups sometimes eat socks.

Pups sometimes eat socks
And they occasionally
Pass them on the bed

“Pass them on the bed,”
said the madame to the john;
bordello advice

Bordello advice:
Do not reckon price per pint,
Fluid flow so dear

Fluid flow so dear:
semen, gasoline, root beer
not the same at all!

Not the same at all!
Sublime, smart, silly, and wise
Dumb, mean, and a liar

“Liar” seems more like two syllables to me, but OK.

“Dumb, mean and a liar”
describes a certain leader;
you know who I mean

You know who I mean.
I’m the man who killed Gus Fring.
I am Heisenberg.

I am Heisenberg.
Uncertainty is certain!
Einstein got it wrong.

Einstein got it wrong
He thought that I threw the ball
Einstein is my pup

Einstein is my pup
But he’s no supergenius
Barks at his own farts

Barks at his own farts?
Sounds like my Uncle Woodrow;
not the smartest guy.

Not the smartest guy
Thinks saying that he’s “driving”
Avoids the ticket

Avoids the ticket,
He does. Then he gets a free
Coupon for Guinness.