Back to our weirdness
As I put down my book and
Turned on CNN
Turned-on CNN?
Sexualized news broadcasts
are just not for me
Are just? Not for me!
Slaps on the wrists? Petty fines?
I demand vengeance!!
I demand vengeance,
but grrr, I never get it;
very frustrating
Very frustrating
When the package says “tear here”
And you know it won’t
And you know it won’t
make a bit of difference
to the Biff Fan Club.
To the Biff Fan Club
I say bite me, because I
Was not invited
Was not invited
to the Inauguration,
and that’s fine by me!
“And that’s Fine by me!”
I say, pointing to my old
Three Stooges selfie.
Three Stooges selfie?
With those knuckleheads? That’s a
Real cluster nyuk
Real cluster nyuk
was the name of my first band,
in which I played drums.
In which I played drums
(the band, that is) lacked talent;
no rock stars were we!
No rock stars were we
Trash a hotel room? We just
Left the bed unmade
Left the bed unmade,
Shuffled out to the kitchen,
Made me some French toast.
Made me some French toast,
hash browns, grits and crisp bacon;
pass the coffee, please.
Pass the coffee, please
You don’t need any, 'cause you’ll
Pee like a racehorse
Pee like a racehorse?
That’s not on my agenda,
but my plans could change
But my plans could change
Without a moment’s notice
If I’m in a mood
If I’m in a mood,
I could be a naughty lad,
but not today, thanks.
But not today, thanks.
Nor even for tomorrow 
My doctor’s order.