The North or the South
Where’s your Civil War wager?
I bet on the West
I bet on the West
Family - but which to back?
Kanye? Adam? Jim?
Kanye? Adam? Jim?
It is a decreasing trend
five, four, three letters
Five, four, three letters
then two, one, then none that week
Interest is waning.
Interest is waning.
We made six cents last year from
Our savings account.
Our savings account
Has lots of zeros, but they’re
All at the wrong end
All at the wrong end
Except for Proctologist
Always at the rear
Always at the rear
Poor Lone Ranger’s horse had to
Keep doing that trick.
Keep doing that trick
Where you pull those dollar coins
Out of my left ear.
Out of my left ear,
The ENT extruded
This huge hunk of wax.
This huge hunk of wax
Stands where my candles once stood
Birthdays on Venus
Birthdays on Venus
want to go somewhere colder
but not Uranus
But not Uranus
I promised (with fingers crossed)
And now she’s my ex
And now she’s my ex;
It will take a long while to…
Hey, who’s that lady?
Hey, who’s that lady?
That’s no lady – that’s my wife!
And here comes trouble…
And here comes Trouble.
I think you can likely guess
Why kitten’s named that.
Why kitten’s named “That”?
Because we already have
“This” and “The Other”
“This” and “The Other”
You have no room there for “That”?
Blatant Prejudice.
Blatant Prejudice
Is a bad name for a band.
Find another one.
“Find another one”
That’s what Grandpa said when I
Pulled the wrong finger