Haiku Madness Part Deux

Although it’s, “Phoebe.”
She had some good lines, but still,
I prefer Chandler.

I prefer Chandler
Could there be a better guy
With a third nipple

With a third nipple
You can give tit for tat, and
When done, you’re normal

When done, you’re normal
by some definitions, but
cannot be by all.

Cannot be by all
either loved or hated, but
some folks come real close

Some folks come real close
And some folks keep their distance
Wish I could choose which

Wish I could choose which
Life to come back as if there’s
Reincarnation

Reincarnation
doubtful; hillbillies may see
Reintarnation

Reintarnation
The strange ceremony held
At the cement pond

At the cement pond
I kept bruising my feet; too
Used to mud bottoms.

Used to mud bottoms
Now I mud middles and tops
I’m one tough mudder

“I’m one tough mudder.”
You still dropped your last seven
Races in a row.

Races in a row
always leave me exhausted;
time for a long nap

Time for a long nap.
“You just got up,” you say? You
Don’t grasp the concept.

Don’t grasp the concept,
or the nettle, but reach out
to your sweetie pie.

To your sweetie pie
I send haikus of desire
I hope you don’t mind

I hope you don’t mind
but I bleached your cat, Midnight;
now a glossy white

Now a glossy white
But I am red all over
and need some stitches.

Now a glossy white
But needed three coats of paint
to cover it all

And need some stitches
And Mercurochrome swabbed on
To cover it all